It is possible
by SexySiri
Summary: Harry is raped by his uncle and so Sirius, Remus and Severus take him into their home and nurse him back to health, emotionally and physically. Contains rape, mentions of self harm, sex & domestic abuse. SB/RL, past RL/JP, NT/OC and eventual HP/SS.
1. Prologue

_All but the plot is JK's. _

_Warning: Contains rape, self harm, sex , talks of suicide, adultery_

* * *

_**Prologue**_

* * *

They opened the door to Harry's room and Remus Lupin frowned, "What?" His best friend and husband Sirius Black asked. "Smells like sex." The werewolf replied.

"Well Petunia and Vernon _are_ married, maybe it's from their room." Their other friend Severus Snape said. "No, It's in here... it smells forced..." Sirius frowned then, Remus was rarely wrong when it came to scents. They looked around the room for Harry and Sirius frowned even more when he noticed that the duvet on the bed in the corner was shaking fiercly. The men crossed the room and drew the duvet away from Harry, who appeared to be stuck in a nightmare. "No! Uncle Vernon I'll be good I promise." The boy whimpered, he was only wearing boxers and they appeared to have blood and cum stains on them. Remus was the first to react and stunned the boy with a simple spell before picking him up, "Home." He said to the other two and they followed him to the portkey even though Sirius would have rathered stay until Vernon Dursley got back and murder the man.

* * *

_What do you think?_


	2. Help

_All but the plot is JK's. Contains mentions of rape, self harm, slash, abuse._

* * *

**Help...**

When they arrived at Snape Manor, Severus went to floo Poppy and Remus laid Harry on the bed in the room they had prepared for the boy. "Why did you stun him?' Sirius asked curiously.

"If he has been... raped... he may get scared around men for a while and not want to be touched but until I know the damage I didn't want him to walk." Remus replied, Sirius simply nodded, looking down at the tearstained face of his godson.

"Yes, poor dear." They heard Poppy say as she and Severus walked in, "I'll check him over, why don't you three go and make some tea?" They left the room, Sirius doing so with much reluctace,

"I'll bloody kill Dursley." He growled.

"What good are you to Harry in Azkaban?" Remus asked him, kissing his lover softly, "We will get Harry through this." He promised, Severus nodded his agreement.

They sat there in silence for quarter of an hour until Poppy returned, her expression confirming their suspicions. "Harry has indeed been raped." She said, tears in her eyes, "I believe that you three are the best to look after him, He may be a bit uncomfortable for a few days as some of the tissue has been torn, and then there's the psychological damage... Don't force him to talk but let him know that you are willing to listen. I have contacted Nymphadora and she has gone to arrest Mr Dursley." Sirius ran a hand through his hair. He'd only been a free man for seven hours! Poppy explained that she would return the next day and then a week after that, she would also visit Harry before Hogwarts began again, in three weeks time, and see how the boy was then. "We can always tell the world that he's in training for the war or something if he doesn't want to return to the school for a while." She said, Promising to kill Dumbledore for leaving Harry at that house in the first place she left.

"Stunner will lift in half an hour." Remus said quietly, the three men went into Harry's room and watched the unconcious boy, as soon as he began to wake Severus left, he thought it would be better if Sirius and Remus dealt with this one. They watched as Harry's eyes opened and he took in his surroundings, his hand slid under his pillow making Remus frown, especially when Harry cursed and sat up, his eyes narrowed when he saw them, "Snuffles? Proffessor Lupin?" He sounded suspicious.

"Hello Harry." Sirius said. "Tonks caught Pettigrew so I'm free, we came to pick you up so you could stay with us but you were in the middle of a nightmare so Moony stunned you and bought you here, sorry if we scared you."

"You're free?" Harry asked, stunned.

"Yep, We came to fetch you so you could live with us." Sirius repeated.

"That's great Siri!" Harry sat up slightly more and winced. "Where am I?"

"Snape Manor." Sirius replied. Harry was the reason they were friends with Severus, he'd made all three men put their differences aside, hoping they would at least become allies... he hadn't expected the friendship that had begun, Severus was a new marauder by now, one of the gang. "Was I... was I talking in my nightmare?" Harry's voice shook.

"Yes, we were worried about what you were saying so we had Poppy check you over, We know what your Uncle did Harry, Tonks is arresting him now." Harry's eyes widened and he looked away from the men, feeling ashamed.

"You have nothing to be ashamed of Harry," Remus said, "You don't have to talk to us but we are here if you need us."

"Who knows?" Harry's voice was cold but Sirius knew that the boy was trying to hide his emotions,

"Us, Sev, Poppy and Tonks. Madame Bones and Dumbledore will need to be told at some point."

"NO!" Harry yelled.

"Okay Harry calm down, we wont do anything you don't want us to, but if you want Dursley sent down for what he did then certain people need to be told." Remus gave the boy a reassuring look,

"I deserved it, I'm a good for nothing whore." Harry muttered.

"No you're not Harry..." Sirius said and Harry nodded, not believing a word, Sirius sighed, "Severus is making Lunch, do you want some?" He asked, The boy looked unsure before eventually nodding, "Can you walk there?" Harry turned bright red before nodding again, his eyes trained on the ground. Remus went first and Sirius followed Harry, making sure the boy was alright. Although he limped slightly the boy refused to ask for help.

"Hello Harry." Severus said as they walked in and sat at the table, Harry gave a grunt in reply, never looking at any of them. Severus put a bowl of soup in front of the teenager. Harry moved the spoon around a bit and raised the spoon to his mouth, licking the spoon slightly he lowered it again. "So where exactly is Snape Manor?" He asked, moving the spoon around the bowl as Remus and Sirius served themselves and sat next to Severus.

"North Wales, the local muggles believe the owner is a rich pensioner who spends most of his time on cruises," Harry gave a smirk at that, "Are you going to eat that?" Severus asked five minutes later, pointing to Harry's soup, The teenager hadn't touched it since the first spoonfull, Harry shook his head slightly and, sighing, Severus cleared it up. Remus and Sirius seemed to be communicating mentally, they were both looking at the other doe eyed and smiling slightly, Remus gave Sirius a soft kiss on the lips making the man grin wider... Severus and Harry exchanged bored looks. 'See what I have to put up with daily.' Severus mouthed and Harry snorted making Remus and Sirius look up and blush.

"Sorry." Sirius muttered,

"Why don't you help Remus pack his stuff for the meeting, I can show Harry around the house." Severus offered, Sirius glanced at Harry who gave him a nod and so he and Remus headed upstairs. "Just hope they remember the silencing charms this time." Severus muttered to himself and then winced when he realised that Harry had heard, "Sorry."

"It's okay Proffessor, I know that they have sex... And I don't mind sex being mentioned, you don't have to blur everything over, I'm not planning on having a breakdown." Severus frowned before deciding it might be better to change the subject, after much persuasion he got Harry to agree to calling him Severus rather than Proffessor. He showed Harry the house and noticed the boy limping but didn't offer to help, knowing that it would make Harry feel insulted. "So, what do you want to do now?" They had finished the tour ten minutes ago and Sirius and Remus showed no signs of emerging.

"Whatever." Harry shrugged, "What do you usually do?"

"I usually make potions down in my lab." Severus replied.

Harry rolled his eyes, "Of course." He muttered, Then, surprising Severus, said "Can I help?" Knowing that the teenager wanted something to do so he didn't have to think about his Uncle, Severus agreed and he and Harry headed down into the cellar where Severus' lab was.

"Can you dice those roots for me?" Severus asked and Harry got to work, they were silent at first and then Severus spoke, "You know when I was your age my dad, he was a muggle, he thought he could beat the magic out of me... It reached a point where Poppy didn't think I'd ever walk again." Harry was silent, still chopping the roots, wondering where this was going, "Your mum got me through that, she told me I had to walk, I had to prove my dad wrong. And I did... A few weeks after that your dad was tormenting me, Lily stuck up for me but I was angry and ashamed so I yelled at her to keep out of it, 'Mudblood' I called her, she never spoke to me again."

"That was clever." Harry muttered, he didn't say anything else for a few moments and then began to talk, dicing the roots smaller and smaller, more fiercely each time. "He used to look at me, when I was wrapped in a towel or whatever... I don't think he ever got the chance to do anything about it cause Aunt Petunia was always around... But then this summer she got a bunch of friends from the Ladies Club in town and she went out with them. Vernon said it was time for me to start earning my keep... all fourteen years of it." Harry stopped talking abruptly and handed Severus the diced roots, Severus took them and added them to the potion, "What is this?" Harry asked, sniffing the foul smelling thing,

Severus knew that their previous conversation was over. "Wolfsbane for Remus." He replied and Harry wrinkled his nose, remembering what Remus had said about how disgusting it tasted. "Shit is that the time?" Severus muttered looking at the clock, it was seven.

They headed back upstairs to be greeted by a seething Remus."Where have you been?" Remus asked, his tone had a hint of anger in it, directed at Severus who looked apologetic and bowed his head in a way that reminded Harry of the way you should apologise to someone of authority, but Remus wasn't someone of authority, and it was Severus' house... right? "Sorry," Severus mumbled, "Harry was helping me with the Wolfsbane and we lost track of time." Remus reached out and put his hand on Severus' shoulder and the man raised his head. "Sorry." He mumbled again.

"That's alright, Next time leave a note or something to let us know that you are in the lab." Severus agreed and Remus said goodbye to everyone before flooing to the headquarters of the Order of the Pheonix. "Thought you hated potions." Sirius said to his godson.

"Only when Malfoy's throwing stuff into my potion, or when Nev's explode's because Snape's scaring him, no offence," He added to the potions master who grinned,

"None taken, I only pester Longbottom 'cause I know he can do better anyway."

"Well maybe if you diedn't breathe down his neck all the time and stopped calling him incapable..." Harry muttered.

"Hey, I have a reputation to uphold!" Severus defended.

Harry smirked, "What? Bat of the dungeons?"

"I resent that!" Severus pouted, "Shut it Black!" He added as Sirius burst out laughing.

"You're getting better at this." Sirius told Harry, putting his hand on the teenager's shoulder but removing it the second the boy flinched. "Sorry." Harry mumbled.

"You have nothing to be sorry for Harry." Sirius replied quietly.

"'YES I DO!" The teenager yelled and ran out of the room, Sirius sighed and collapsed onto the couch, Serverus gave him a tight smile before going after Harry.

**HPHPHPHPHPHPHPHPHPHPHPHP**

"Hey." Severus said, opening the door to Harry's teenager looked up, he was sat on the bed, tears streaming down his cheeks, books lay scattered around the room. Severus made no move to enter the room, not wanting to scare the teenager.

"Is Siri mad at me?" Harry's voice shook.

"No! He understands. But he was right, you have nothing to be sorry for."

"I let him do it, I didn't do anything to stop him!" Harry sobbed.

"Harry there was nothing you could have done, he's bigger than you, stronger and you couldn't use magic." Severus reassured the boy.

Harry leapt to his feet and crossed the room, grabbing hold of the front of Severus' robes he yelled, "I should have stopped him!" Severus didn't move for fear of scaring the boy. "I'm just a good for nothing whore." Harry muttered and out of the blue he pressed his body to Severus', kissing the man and moving his hands to Severus' zipper. Severus pulled away instantly and grabbed Harry's hands, holding them together in front of the boy. "Harry." He said and the boy glanced at him before looking at the floor, "Look at me. You are not a whore, none of this was your fault okay?" Harry nodded, tears cascading down his cheeks, "I'll be downstairs if you need to talk, Dinner will be ready soon." Severus added before releasing Harry's hands and going downstairs. Remus had returned by that point and looked concerned when Severus threw himself onto the sofa. "How is he?" Sirius asked.

"He thinks he's a whore... only good for sex, he even tried to kiss me. God Dursley better get the dementor's kiss or I swear to god I'll kill him myself."

"He tried to kiss you?" Sirius choked.

"Yea, Completely out of the blue, tried to undo my trousers in the split second before I reacted. He really is convinced he's a whore."

"Poor kid." Remus muttered.

"He was scared that you'd be mad at him for yelling." Severus said, looking at Sirius who sighed, "Best to leave him for a bit though." Severus added. They all sat there silently for a while, wondering how it had come to this. Severus was frowning, he was trying to get the feeling of Harry's lips out of his head, the feeling of those soft hands pulling at his zipper. He stood up abruptly and went into the kitchen to make dinner, he was pleasantly surprised to find Harry sat on the worktop drinking a glass of water. "Sorry about earlier." The teenager said as Severus put a pan of potatoes on to boil, "I'm a bit of a mess right now."

"That's okay, it's understandable." Severus said, waving his wand to make the potatoes boil faster.

"Yea well... Sorry anyway." Harry said, getting off the cabinet and leaving the room, Severus noticed that the boy walked the long way around the room so that he didn't have to pass him. They didn't see Harry after that, they called him for dinner and when he didn't emerge Sirius went upstairs to see if Harry was okay and found the teenager fast asleep. He cast a charm on the room so that if Harry had cast a silencing charm it wouldn't stick. They had given Harry his wand back the second he asked for it and he'd shoved it under his pillow, Remus now understood why he'd looked there when he'd first arrived. Sirius cast another charm to send all the books Harry had been throwing around the room back to their original places. "Oh Pup, I can't believe this has happened. As if life wasn't bad enough as it is... Jay would do his nut if he were here now... Vernon wouldn't make it to prison. I just want you to know that I would die for you if I had to, never forget that... I love you Pup." In his sleep Harry gave a small smile as Sirius pressed a kiss to his forehead and left the room.

**HPHPHPHPHPHPHPHPHPHPHPHP**

Harry walked into the kitchen at ten the next morning, Sirius and Remus were both sat there, talking to each other quietly, they looked up and stopped talking when Harry walked in. Harry grabbed a mug of coffee before sitting down, Remus and Sirius's eyes followed him as he walked, a slight crease in between Sirius' eyebrow's when he saw that Harry wasn't planning on eating. Harry scowled at his coffee, hating the way they were staring at him. "Please stop worrying." He said quietly once he could take it no longer.

"It's our job to worry, Harry." Sirius replied matter of factly.

"I'll be fine." Harry tried to reassure them before taking a sip of his coffee.

"Try to eat something...Harry you really are too thin," Remus said "You need to eat more food...I know you don't like meat, but could you just try a little bit of bacon?"

"Stop it!" Harry snapped and Remus looked quite taken aback.

"Harry..." he protested weakly.

"Not you," Harry snarled; "Him!" He exclaimed jabbing a finger at Sirius who looked shocked.

"What did I…"

"I'm not made of china! Stop watching my every move like I'm going to break…" Harry's voice shook as he said it which didn't help.

"Sorry, I guess I just worry." Sirius muttered weakly.

"Well go and worry someplace else." Harry snapped, scowling at his plate before wincing and looking up again, "Sorry, I'm so sorry...I didn't mean to snap I just... I'm sorry! I won't do it again!" Harry was getting hysterical as Sirius said, "It's okay Harry, It's fine."

"I'm sorry!" The teenager sobbed, Sirius moved to put a hand on the boys shoulder to comfort him and Harry flinched backwards, "I'm sorry, don't hurt me, please."

"I'm not going to hurt you Harry." Sirius said calmly, although inside he was breaking. Harry's sobs had quietened down and he asked, "Sirius?"

"it's oky Pup, I'm here and I'm not going to hurt you, I'll never hurt you, I promise." He was stunned when Harry flung his arms around his neck, crying into his godfathers shoulder. "Shh, It's okay Har. You're safe now." After a while Harry's sobs became sniffles and then his sniffles became tiny snores. Sirius picked his godson up and carried him to the living room, placing him on the sofa and draping a blanket over him.

When he returned to the kitchen Remus was sat in his chair, staring at the table with unseeing eyes. Anger rose inside Sirius and he grabbed the edge of the table and flipped it, Remus didn't comment as the table was flung to the side even though it hit him on the way, he simply looked up at Sirius. The anger disappeared as quickly as it rose, especially when he saw the trickle of blood on Remus' forehead. "Sorry." He whispered, moving over and casting a healing charm on it.

"It's okay." Remus said quietly, glad Sirius had taken his temper out on the table and not on him.

"No it's not, it's anything but okay." Sirius replied, tears gathering in his eyes.

Remus rose and pulled his husband to him, "I know baby, but Harry's in a safe place now."

They heard whimpering from the next room and Sirius pulled away to go and check on Harry but then he heard the boy mumble, "Fuck," And the sounds of Harry standing up. The door opened. "Woah, what happened in here?" Harry asked, casting a look around the room.

"My fault." Sirius mumbled. Harry laughed weakly and stared at the floor. His Godfathers were watching him intently, studying him. He hated it. He knew why they were doing it. They wanted to see if he was okay, how screwed up he was. He could laugh. Screwed up. "Are you okay Harry?" Remus asked softly, moving beside the boy. Harry winced slightly at the question. He knew he would be hearing it a lot from now on. "I'm fine." He lied. He knew he wasn't.

"You're not." Sirius stated. It wasn't in an angry tone or to reprimand him. It was a simple statement.

"Your right, but I really don't want to talk about it."

Remus sighed and looked Harry in the eye, "You will need to talk at some point but for now here," He summoned a bottle of pain relief, "Have this just in case you need it." Harry turned crimson and nodded slowly. "So what do you want to do today?" Remus asked, "Severus will be back by dinner time,"

"Do you.... Do you have any pictures... of my mum and dad?"

"Yep, I have all of mine, all of Siri' and all of Jamie's, he gave his to Siri just in case." Harry grinned and walked into the living room as Remus went to get the stuff and Sirius made some tea, putting the table back as he did so. As Remus walked back into the living room with three miniaturized trunks Sirius grabbed his arm, "I really am sorry." He whispered.

"I know, It's okay." Remus replied and they both went and sat next to Harry.

* * *

_Please review._

_SexySiri._


	3. Pain

_Contains mentions of rape, self harm, abuse, slash and adultery. Also contains a sex scene.  
_

_All but the plot is JK's._

* * *

**Pain...**

When Severus returned at five Harry was asleep on the sofa with Sirius sat next to him reading a book. Remus was in the kitchen making dinner. "What happened to your head?" Severus asked and the werewolf jumped.

"What?"

"You have a cut.... How did it happen?"

Remus winced, "Oh ummm... Siri lost his temper with the table and it hit me accidentally. I thought he'd healed it." Severus cast his own healing charm on the cut.

"Black's healing charms are shit." He growled, "He lost his temper?"

"Yea... But only with the table, Harry had a breakdown and it pushed him over the edge."

"Remus! He can't keep losing his temper, people will get hurt!" Severus snapped. "I'll talk to him."

"No! Sev leave it..." Remus begged, "It's just 'cause of the situation..."

"That was what you said last time... and the black eye you had two weeks ago wasn't because of this situation!" Remus' eyes were pleading with him so Severus relented, "Fine but one more mark on you and I will talk to him!"

They heard the floo in the other room burst into life and Sirius say "Hey Poppy." So they headed into the living room. Sirius woke Harry up slowly and the boy grasped his hand when he saw Poppy.

"Hello Harry." The medi witch said quietly. "I'm just going to run some tests okay, and Nymphadora will be here in a moment, she needs to ask you some questions but you don't have to answer them unless you want to." Harry nodded, "I'm afraid I'm going to have to ask you to strip to your underpants for some of the tests." Harry flinched and she added, "Your godfather's and Severus will leave the room if you want them to." Harry nodded jerkily and she instructed them to leave. They all sat in the kitchen silently for the next fourty minutes until the door opened and Poppy walked out. "Nymphadora will be here in a moment, Harry's just gathering his thoughts. Physically he's recovering brilliantly but emotionally.... he wont talk about it, wont open up at all, only to say that he's a slut and deserved it." Sirius sighed and put his head in his hands, "Also he's attempted self harm." All three men gasped and stood up, sitting back down when Poppy held her hand up, "Although he assures me he wont do it again just keep an eye out... show him you're there for him."

The floo in the other room burst into life again and they all walked into the living room. "Hi you must be Harry, My name's -"

"Nymphi!" Sirius said pulling her into a hug.

"Call me that again and I will kill you." Tonks grinned before turning back to Harry, "You can call me Tonks." he gave a slight nod. "We can just have a little chat about your uncle but you don't have to unless you absoloutly want to." Tonks said, "So what do you say?" Harry shook his head jerkily, his eyes trained on the floor. "Okay." Tonks said, ushering them into the kitchen.

"Is that it?" Sirius asked, stunned.

"For now, we don't want to push him too much emotionally, I'll be back in a few days. In the mean time he may open up to you, put the memories in a pensive... Don't hide it from him though, let him know what you're doing. This way we can build a concrete case." They all agreed and Tonks and Poppy left, Harry walked into the kitchen, walking straight past the men and out into the hallway, after a moment they heard the shower upstairs turn on.

Remus finished making the dinner and called Harry dowstairs. Once they had sat down Harry began talking a mile a minute much to Sirius' confusion until he realised that Harry was trying to distract them from the fact that he wasn't eating. "Har, please try to eat something. You barely ate any breakfast or lunch and you didn't eat much yesterday." Harry scowled at his plate but ate some mashed potato. After dinner Harry went straight upstairs, Sirius followed him and found the boy curled up on his bed under the duvet sobbing his eys out, Sirius could only hold him tightly until he had cried himself to sleep.

**HPHPHPHPHPHPHPHPHPHPHPHPHP**

Once the teenager was asleep Sirius headed to his and Remus' rooms where Remus was sat on the bed reading. Sirius smashed his fist into the desk making Remus wince, "He cried himself to sleep Lupin! Do you still think everything's going to be okay?" Sirius growled.

Remus sighed, "It will be Siri," He said, standing up and going to stand in front of his husband. "Everything _will _be okay." He saw the anger building in Sirius' eyes and wasn't surprised when the first punch came, he barely flinched alhough he could feel blood falling from his nose,

"It wont be okay!" Sirius growled, punching him in the stomach and then on the face again. Remus simply stood there taking it and then suddenly the anger in Sirius' eyes dimmed and turned to pain. "Oh god Rem, 'm sorry, 'm so so sorry!!!" He sobbed, Remus pulled him into a hug and held his husband tight, leading him to the bed and lying next to him, holding Sirius until he too had cried himself to sleep.

Remus walked down the corridor to the bathroom so he could clean his face up, their en-suite didn't have any pain relief potions in it. "You've got blood on your shirt." Remus spun around and saw Severus stood directly in front of him. "I have?" He replied evenly, walking into the bathroom.

"Why do you let him do this to you Rem?!" Severus asked, "What if it's not you next time?! If he strikes me then I can defend myself but if he touches Harry then he'll lose him forever." Remus didn't reply instantly, instead swallowing a pain relief potion and casting a quick healing charm on his nose. "He would never hurt Harry." He said finally.

"Yea... But I bet there was a time when you thought he'd never hurt you." Severus replied before leaving the room. Remus stared into the mirror, taking in the dried blood around his nose, as he contemplated what Severus had said. Of course he had been surprised the first time Sirius had struck him, in those days he'd had the energy to leave. Ending up at Lily and James'.

**HPHPHPHPHPHPHPHPHPHPHPHPHP**

_"Honey can you get that?" Lily asked her husband, he nodded and walked towards the door._

_"Rem, what the hell happened to you?!" He croaked, seeing the state on his friend._

_Remus winced, "It's nothing, can I come in?"_

_"Sure, Sure." James muttered, ushering his friend into the sitting room, _

_Lily took one look at him and set about healing the bruises and his, now broken, nose. "Who did this to you Rem?" She asked five minutes later, handing him a mug of very sweet tea. _

_"No-one... It's nothing." He repeated, drinking the tea, relishing the warmth that spread through his body. _

_"Well do you want me to call Sirius?" James asked, a concerned look in his eyes but Remus knew he was wondering why he had come to them rather than go home to his husband. _

_"NO! No don't." He said, _

_Lily raised an eyebrow before her eyes widened in understanding. "It was him wasn't it? He did this to you." Remus didn't reply, he stared at the tea left in his mug, ignoring his friends._

_"Oh god." James whispered, "But... Why?" Remus finally looked up, his eyes blank and lifeless, he still didn't reply though. James gave Lily a certain look and she left the room, knowing it might be easier for Remus to talk if it was only his best friend around, they heard the floo go and then everything went silent again. "Moony... Why did he hurt you?" James asked, moving beside his friend and fingering one of the bruises that was still fading due to Lily's charms. _

_"He didn't come home last night, so I asked where he'd been, I was worried about him Jay! But then he decided that I was accusing him of cheating on me and he flipped." James decided not to mention that it sounded as if Sirius had a guilty conscience, he knew that Remus already knew that. Instead he pressed their foreheads together, "He's a bastard." Was all he said, Remus pulled away brutally, shaking his head almost manically. _

_"No! He just lost his temper." Remus defended, James sighed and pulled his friend close again. _

_Remus looked up, into his friend's eyes. James looked directly back "I want to kiss you," he said suddenly and it startled Remus. _

"_Sorry?" He asked._

"_I shouldn't have said that," James mumbled and looked away. _

_Remus took his chin and forced his gaze back on him. "Why?" He pressed. The desire to kiss him suddenly overwhelmed Remus as well but he needed to know. _

"_I don't know," James said, blushing. "I don't know. I just… do."_

"_James I…" Remus said and the silence settled between them... And then they were kissing and James was dragging Remus upstairs to the guestroom, locking the door and casting a quick silencing charm. James bit at his skin, prepped him quickly, and fucked him hard and fast. Remus let everything fade into the vulgar slap of skin on skin, as his lover's heavy bollocks swung against him at each quick thrust. It wasn't until James had come that he touched Remus's cock. His grip was rough and dry, and it was half pain that made Remus climax, gritting his teeth to hold in any cry. They lay there afterwards for several minutes before Remus said, "I should go." And that was that, until next time Sirius beat Remus and it happened again. Neither ever mentioned what was happening between them. It was just sex right? The thing was because of what was happening between him and James, Remus now felt that he deserved every beating Sirius gave him, he stopped walking out as much. James hated it, he hated watching Remus become quieter, he hated the feelings that he had for Remus, he hated that he was cheating on Lily... he especially hated the fact that he didn't stop cheating even when she became pregnant with his son._

**HPHPHPHPHPHPHPHPHPHPHPHPHP**

Remus was still staring into the mirror when Severus walked back in, "I have some tea in my study if you want any." Remus nodded and cast a quick charm to clean his face he followed Severus down the corridor.

"I deserve it." Remus said quietly once they were in Severus' study and were sat on his sofa.

"Why do you?" Severus asked, handing him a mug of tea.

Remus explained about him and James and when he was finished Severus blinked several times. "But it was Black who pushed you so much that you ended up with Potter." In any other situation Remus would have laughed at how Sirius was suddenly refered to by his surname when Severus was angry at him.

"I still cheated on him... with the man he refered to as a brother!"

"He was cheating on you too, that much is obvious!"

"Yes but... James was his brother..."

"You still don't deserve to be beaten! Black doesn't even know about you and Potter so it's not even like he's hitting you over that. What was his reason tonight?

Remus sighed, "I told him that everything would get better." He buried his head in his hand before looking up again and frowning, "What is it?" Severus asked.

"I heard footsteps." Remus replied, he opened the door and could just make out Harry walking down the corridor. "You don't think he heard do you?"

"No, I have a one way silencing charm on the study." Severus said as they followed the boy. Once they reached the kitchen they found him boiling the kettle. "I hope you don't mind." He mumbled, "I had a weird dream."

"What sort of dream?" Remus asked, wondering if it was about his uncle.

Harry frowned slightly, "I was in a corridor, with loads of doors... Then I woke up and my scar was burning." He turned away from them to pour the hot water into a mug and Remus and Severus exchanged a worried look. Remus got himself and Severus drinks and they all went to sit in the living room. "There's something you should know..." Harry said quietly. "I... I mean I should..." He muttered. Remus frowned, wondering what on earth was bothering Harry. "I have to leave." Harry blurted out suddenly.

"What?!" Remus choked.

"You'll all get killed if I stay here!" Harry half yelled.

"Harry -" Severus started but Harry interrupted him.

"Do you know how Quirrell died?" Harry asked quietly. Severus shook his head. Albus had refused to tell any of the staff, or even let them see the body, "No Harry, I don't."

"He burned,My touch burned him because of my mother's protection. I killed him, and it wasn't an accident. Dumbledore thinks I don't remember what happened, but I can still smell it sometimes. I almost died but Dumbledore got to me just in time. Death follows me around. You're already in too much danger. Don't get too close to me." Then the teenager rose and left the room, Remus and Severus followed him and when they reached his bedroom he was stood there with his trunk fully packed.

"Harry -"

"No! I have to go!" Harry yelled.

"Harold James Potter don't you raise your voice with me young man!" Remus snapped making both Harry and Severus stare at him. "Harry, We are going to wake Sirius and discuss this rationally, like adults. Okay?" Harry could only nod, he hadn't been expecting this, Remus was meant to just let him leave! "Severus take Harry downstairs, myself and Sirius will be there shortly." Remus said, leaving the room.

Harry silently followed his potions proffessor downstairs. They sat opposite each other silently for the few minutes before Sirius and Remus walked in. "What's this about you leaving?" Sirius asked softly sitting next to Harry and taking the teenagers hand in his own. Remus smiled at how sweet his husband was when it came to Harry, if only Sirius were as nice when it came to him.

"I have to go!" Harry said. "Otherwise you'll all die."

Sirius sighed. "Harry," He started before pausing, "Look, We're all targets for Voldemort anyway Pup, No matter what, and I need you here," Sirius looked his godson in the eye, "Don't leave us Harry." Harry opened his mouth to argue but he felt so, so tired... maybe he could stick around, but just for one night.

"One night." He mumbled, leaning his head against Sirius and falling asleep almost instantly.

"Come on Pup." Sirius said quietly, He stood up and carried Harry back up the stairs.

Remus watched them go, a sad expression on his face, before he rose and muttered, "I'm going to bed." Severus watched him go and sighed, summoning some firewhisky he took a deep swig. A few minutes later the door opened and Sirius walked back in, he summoned his own firewhisky and sat opposite Severus. Severus watched as Sirius drank half the bottle in one go. "Damn I needed that, where's Rem?" Sirius asked.

"He went to bed. You know this is my house don't you?"

Sirius frowned, "Yes… How much have you had to drink?" He laughed.

"You know that this is my house and that if you lay another finger on Remus I will kick you out and never let you come back. I will also make it damn hard for you to see Remus or Harry." Severus growled. Sirius paled, he tried to stutter some excuse but Seveurs simply raised an eyebrow and Sirius shut up instantly, sensing that Severus was in a dangerous mood.

"I'm sorry." The animagus whispered eventually.

"It's not me you need to be apologising to." Severus snapped.

"I know, I just…" Sirius trailed off.

"Look, I'll set up a muggle punch bag in my study, if you feel angry then go in there and kick the shit out of that rather than hurting Remus."

"I'll try." Sirius promised and Severus scowled.

"There is no trying Sirius. You touch Remus again and I will force you into anger management and not let you back in this house or around him and Harry until you can prove you can control your temper. Understood"

"Yes Sev." Sirius whispered quietly.

"I know it seems almost natural to beat someone up when you're angry, I went through it in sixth year. It's because you grew up in an abusive household and if you feel angry it seems almost natural to lash out…. But trust me Sirius you've almost lost Remus more times than you can imagine because of this, do you really think he's going to stick around and be treated like this forever?!"

A tear trickled down Sirius' cheek, coming to a rest on his chin. "I can't lose him Sev, I don't know what I'd do without him..."

"So get help." Severus growled before standing up and leaving the room.

* * *

_So... Please review._

_SexySiri._


	4. Knowledge

_New chapter, all but the plot is JK's._

* * *

**Knowledge**.

Sirius woke Remus up the next morning with a mug of tea and a plate of toast. "What's this for?" Remus asked, taking a swig of his tea.

"To say sorry… and thank you for putting up with me…" Sirius mumbled.

Remus sighed, "Siri…"

"No! I treat you really badly Remmie and you just stick around, like nothing happens. I promised myself when I got out of Azkaban that it wouldn't happen again but it is and… I'm so sorry." Sirius looked close to tears and Remus sighed, putting the breakfast tray on the bedside table he pulled Sirius into a tight hug,

"I bloody love you okay Sirius Black? No matter what." Remus said softly, stroking his husband's hair.

"But you shouldn't… I hurt you…" Sirius whispered brokenly.

"It's okay Siri… Really it is. It's not your fault, you just get angry, I don't mind…" Remus said holding Sirius tightly.

"But you should... I should just go and get away from you and Harry…" Sirius sobbed.

"No!" Remus spat, already planning on killing Severus, knowing the spy had tried to talk to Sirius and had caused Sirius to become like this. Remus hated seeing Sirius so broken, even if part of what he was saying was true. "I love you." Remus whispered in Sirius' ear, "I love you so much…" He pressed a kiss to Sirius' neck, "Please don't leave me…" Another kiss was pressed to Sirius' collarbone, through his thin shirt, "Don't ever leave me." Remus begged, he put his finger under Sirius' chin and made the other man look at him, then Remus kissed a tear off the end of Sirius' nose.

"I'm sorry." Sirius whispered.

"I know, I know you are Pads. I forgive you." He said, knowing it was what Sirius needed to hear. Remus didn't actually forgive Sirius because he'd never felt angry in the first place and so there was nothing to forgive really….

"I love you." Sirius mumbled, pulling Remus closer to him and breathing in his husband's scent.

"I love you too." Remus replied, kissing Sirius softly. Sirius kissed him back and soon he was lying on top of Remus on the bed, Sirius' clothes, a thin sheet and Remus' boxers all that were between them. Remus rose his hips slightly and Sirius gasped. There was a sharp knock at the door and Sirius moved off Remus slightly, "Come in." He called out, wiping his eyes to make sure there were no remaining tears.

Severus peeked around the door, "Nymphadora just fire-called, she'll be over in an hour." He said quietly, ignoring the glare Remus was sending him.

"Thanks." Sirius said softly, the look he sent Severus' was apologetic and Severus gave a small nod, leaving the room.

Once the door closed Remus kissed Sirius again. Sirius moaned into Remus' mouth and suddenly Remus needed more, needed to feel his husband properly. "Want you." The werewolf moaned and Sirius pulled back.

"Tonight." Sirius said and Remus gave him a _'What the fuck?'_ look. "I want you too Rem but properly, not some rushed quickie. Harry'll be up soon and then Nymphie's arriving."

"Jesus Siri." Remus mumbled, "Nice idea but I want you so bad right now." He sighed, "No chance of a morning blowjob is there?"

"Course." Sirius grinned, moving the blanket off Remus… He had just yanked Remus' boxers' down and positioned his mouth over his husband's cock when there was another knock at the door. Remus groaned and Sirius pulled away, covering Remus in the blanket again before calling out, "Come in."

Severus' head poked around the door again, "Sorry. Harry's awake, he's asking for you Sirius." Sirius nodded, he gave Remus and apologetic look which the werewolf waved off. Sirius then kissed Remus' head before leaving the room. "Sorry." Severus said again as Sirius walked past him.

Remus waited until he heard the door to Harry's room open and close. "I hate you." He spat at the spy.

"Rem…"

"No! I fucking told you to leave it be didn't I? I told you to leave him alone and you go and do that!" Remus kept his voice quiet and controlled but Severus could see the fury in his eyes, "What did you say to him? He thought I was going to leave him! As if I ever would…"

"I just wanted to make things better for you…" Severus muttered.

"I know, I know." Remus sighed, "Just please don't."

"But he can't keep hurting you Rem…" Severus snapped, waking over to perch on the edge of the bed. Remus felt slightly uncomfortable as he was still naked apart from the boxers around his knees and the small blanket covering him. "Really Sev, it's fine, please just stay out of it. This is between me and Sirius."

"Sorry." Severus said again.

"That's okay." Remus muttered, "Now would you mind leaving so I could… you know…" He flushed red, nodding towards his naked torso. Severus also glanced down and blushed when he saw the bulge under the blanket, "Sure." He said but found himself unable to move, his eyes glued to the spot where Remus' cock was under the blanket.

"Sev?" Remus said quietly, turning his name into a question.

Severus blinked a few times and looked up at Remus, "Hmm… Right, sorry…" He blushed even more. Then, shocking Remus, he leaned forwards and kissed the werewolf.

Remus kissed him back for a few moments before pulling away quickly. "I'm with Sirius." He ground out, pulling the blanket closer around himself, "And I know I cheated once but I wont ever cheat again."

"I know, God I'm sorry… I just… I need to get laid." Severus sighed, "Sorry. I guess you were just there and naked uinder the blanket so… Plus maybe part of my mind thought there was a vague possibility you might go along with it because of… Well, you know."

"Because I fucked around behind Sirius' back when we were younger?" Remus sneered, "Well I've regretted it ever since. I could never do that to him again Sev."

Severus nodded, "Don't worry, I wont try to jump you, I'm just horny and you were there, plus like I said before, you are naked under that blanket. No harm done though right?"

"Right." Remus smiled in reply. Neither of them noticed Sirius stood by the doorway, a look of pure pain on his face.

* * *

_Quite short but I liked the ending like that so didn't want to add to it in this chapter, I'll update again soon though._

_SexySiri.  
_


	5. Therapy

**_Previously:_**_ "I know, God I'm sorry… I just… I need to get laid." Severus sighed, "Sorry. I guess you were just there and naked under the blanket so… Plus maybe part of my mind thought there was a vague possibility you might go along with it because of… Well, you know."_

_"Because I fucked around behind Sirius' back when we were younger?" Remus sneered, "Well I've regretted it ever since. I could never do that to him again Sev."_

_Severus nodded, "Don't worry, I wont try to jump you, I'm just horny and you were there, plus like I said before, you are naked under that blanket. No harm done though right?"_

_"Right." Remus smiled in reply. Neither of them noticed Sirius stood by the doorway, a look of pure pain on his face._

* * *

**~*~**

_**Therapy.**_

Remus and Severus were discussing some new potion that had come out, Harry was reading a book and Sirius was staring at the wall, they were all sat in the living room waiting for Tonks to arrive. Sirius had been quiet for the past hour and Remus was worried but put it down to him still being upset over whatever Severus had said last night. The floo burst into life and Tonks stepped out, "Wotcher." She grinned, "I'm gonna need to talk to Harry alone, Is that okay?" She asked him, he nodded jerkily. The adults all stood up and left the room, Sirius tussling Harry's hair as he went.

"I've got to go and brew some potions for Poppy." Severus told the other two when they reached the kitchen, "See you later."

Remus nodded and watched him go before turning to Sirius, "Are you okay?" He asked quietly, "Only you're acting odd."

"We're making a fresh start right?" Sirius said quietly, "Leaving the past in the past and changing?"

"Yea…" Remus replied slowly. "Why?"

"Well… Maybe we should get stuff out in the open." Sirius said, shrugging his shoulders.

Remus frowned, "Like what?"

"Stuff…" Sirius muttered, trailing off as he wondered if this was such a good idea. "I cheated on you." He suddenly blurted out and Remus blinked several times.

"When?" Remus asked, wondering if it was recent or if Sirius was just feeling guilty about his flings before Azkaban.

"Before that Halloween… I'm sorry." Sirius whispered.

"'s'okay." Remus mumbled, "I kinda already knew…" He sighed, "If we're being honest… well I wasn't exactly faithful myself." Even though Sirius had already known this, having overheard Remus' conversation with Severus that morning, it still hurt. He knew it was slightly hypocritical to be upset but he had never, not even once, thought that Remus would cheat on him. "Oh." He said quietly and Remus flinched, half expecting to be hit again. Sirius' next words surprised him though, "So about that blowjob…"

"Blowjob?" Remus stuttered.

Sirius raised an eyebrow, "Yea, this mornings one that was disturbed before it started…" He smirked and kissed Remus, trying to turn his anger into lust. He dragged Remus down the corridor to their room and shut the door.

_**~HP~HP~HP~HP~HP~HP~HP~HP~HP~**_

Remus and Sirius lay in each others arms half an hour later. "I love you." Remus mumbled into Sirius' hair. Sirius held him tighter, he opened his mouth to reply but was cut off as there was a knock on the door. Sirius groaned and stood up before he pulled his bathrobe around himself and walked over to the door. He opened it to find Severus, "I'm becoming the no-sex fairy." Severus grumbled noticing Remus lying half covered by a sheet and Sirius' hair being messy, "Nymphadora's finished now, she wants to speak to you both."

"Right, give us five minutes to clean up." Sirius sighed, Severus blushed slightly and nodded before heading back downstairs. "Come on Moony, time to get up." Sirius said, Remus gave a groan, feeling exhausted.

"'m tired." He mumbled.

"Come on, Get up now and then tonight we'll make love and fall asleep together." Remus gave Sirius a soft smile at that and pulled himself out of bed. "God I love you." He said softly, kissing his husband.

"I love you too Moon." Sirius smiled, casting cleaning charms on them both and handing Remus' clothes over. They both got dressed quickly and headed downstairs. Tonks was sat in the armchair in the living room with Harry sat opposite her, staring blankly ahead.

Severus was stood by the doorway and when Remus and Sirius walked in he said, "Come on Harry, let's go and sort out lunch." Harry looked up at him, his face emotionless, before nodding and following the spy out of the room.

Tonks waited until they'd both left and the door was shut before turning to Remus and Sirius. "He wont admit that anything happened, refuses to speak in court… I think it's because he believes he deserved it and so Vernon shouldn't be punished." Tonks sighed, Sirius clenched his fists. "There's a really good psychiatrist at Saint Mungo's, I can get him to come and talk to Harry, he specialises in cases like this too."

"We can't afford anyone who might go to the press." Sirius said.

"Torrey has been known to take unbreakable vows not to reveal his patients details to anyone. Harry needs help Sirius and… well Torrey's the guy he needs."

"We'll think about it and get back to you." Remus told Tonks, earning himself a glare from Sirius which he ignored. Tonks nodded and smiled before saying goodbye and flooing away.

"What the hell do you mean we'll think about it?!" Sirius yelled once she'd gone, casting a silencing charm around the room. "Harry doesn't need some… some shrink!"

"Yes he does Sirius." Remus said quietly, taking a tiny step back as Sirius clenched his fists. "Harry has been through so much and we can't help him, he needs proper help. At least try it, see what Harry thinks." Remus begged.

"See what Harry thinks about what?" Harry asked from the doorway through which he'd just entered.

"Tonks and Remus think that you should see a psychiatrist." Sirius told Harry, scowling at Remus as he spoke.

"What?! I'm not crazy." Harry yelled.

"It's not about being crazy." Remus explained patiently, "It's about having someone to talk to. And you don't even have to talk about recent events, you can talk about anything you want." Harry was still looking unsure so Remus added, "It's just a chance to get things off your chest, and we wont ever know what you talk to him about either. Think of it as writing in a diary except the diary talks back and gives advice." Harry stared at Remus for a few seconds before bursting into laughter. Remus and Sirius stared at him, "What did I say?" Remus asked, confused.

"Sorry." Harry gasped out, "It's just… In my second year…" He had to stop talking as he collapsed into giggles again, finally he managed to calm down enough to explain about his second year and the diary of Tom Riddle. Unfortunately Remus and Sirius weren't so amused. "You fought a Basilisk?!!" Sirius yelled and Harry stopped laughing instantly.

"It was a small Basilisk." Harry muttered, trying to defuse the situation, the look of pure fury on Sirius' face was scaring him.

Sirius noticed this and immediately made himself calm down, "It's okay, I'm not angry at you. But I will be having a few words with Albus." He growled.

"Look, I'll give this… therapy thing a try. If I don't like it then I'll stop." Harry said trying to change the subject, he looked at Remus who gave him a soft smile. Remus glanced at Sirius who was frowning slightly. "Oh yea Severus says that lunch's ready." Harry said, suddenly remembering.

Remus laughed, "You go through, we wont be a minute." He told the teenager who frowned suspiciously but left.

"I'm sorry." Sirius whispered once Harry was gone, "I just… I dunno… I hate the thought that I can't help Harry and that he needs someone else to do so."

"Trust me, I understand." Remus said softly, walking over and kissing his husband's forehead. "But this will be good for him." Sirius gave a small nod and let Remus lead him into the kitchen where Harry and Severus had lunch all set out.

* * *

_**More up soon. Please review.**_


	6. Marriage crisis?

**_Sorry for the delay, hope you like the chapter._**

* * *

**~*~**

**Marriage crisis?**

Harry sat with his back to his bedroom door so that no-one could just walk in as Sirius seemed prone to doing, Harry understood that his godfather was worried about him but quite frankly Harry needed some peace and quiet, away from their worried looks and subtle questions. Remus had told Harry that the Psychiatrist, a Dr Torrey Smith, would be coming over tomorrow, Remus had assured Harry that he didn't have to go through with the session if he didn't want to but Harry had said he would, even though he was very apprehensive about it. Harry took in a deep breathe and then released it, he picked up the packet of cigarettes he'd stolen from Sirius' chest of drawers the day before. He knew the effects smoking had on you, but he also knew that they were suppose to help with stress. Slowly Harry pulled a cigarette out and put it to his lips, he pulled out a lighter and lit the cigarette, inhaling deeply. Seconds later he was choking, having dropped the cigarette on the floor. "Harry?" Came a voice from behind the door and Harry moved away a bit as Remus pushed it open. "Oh you stupid child." The werewolf sighed, kneeling on the floor, stubbing the cigarette out and rubbing Harry's back until he'd stopped choking. "Better?"

"Yeah." Harry croaked, taking the glass of water Remus summoned for him. "Sorry." He mumbled.

"For burning the carpet or for trying to damage your health?! Where did you even find cigarettes?"

Harry flushed, "Sirius' chest of drawers." He mumbled.

Remus frowned, "Must be old ones, from when he just got out of Azkaban, he quit after a week." He muttered, mainly to himself. "So you stole the cigarettes?"

"No I… Well… Yeah…" Harry mumbled. "Sorry."

Remus gave the boy a stern look, "You're washing the dishes for the next few days because of the stealing. As for the smoking… well I hope you learnt your lesson." He smiled slightly as Harry blushed some more and nodded.

"Thank you." He said quietly.

Remus frowned, "For what?"

"Making me do the washing up… punishing me for doing something wrong. Everyone else is treating me like I'm about to fall about to fall apart." Harry shrugged, "It's nice to feel normal."

Remus smiled and put his hand on Harry's shoulder, holding his other arm out so that the boy could have a hug if he wanted, Harry smiled in return and moved into the hug, letting Remus wrap his arm around him. "You are an amazing kid Harry Potter." Remus said softly.

"Not a kid." Harry mumbled into the werewolf's shoulder making the older man laugh.

"Sorry." Remus said, "Anyway, would you like some food?" Harry gave a small shrug, "Come on Har, you need to eat." Remus said, "You're just skin and bones." Harry mumbled something that most people wouldn't have been able to hear but due to Remus' sensitive hearing he did. "Of course you deserve food." The werewolf snapped, Harry flinched backwards at the man's anger, moving away from him. "Oh Merlin Harry I'm sorry," Remus sighed, "I'm not angry at you I'm angry at your relatives." Harry didn't reply, he'd pulled his knees up to his chest and was shaking, Remus groaned and cast a patronus to summon Sirius, Harry always seemed to calm down quicker around the other man. Sirius was there within seconds, holding Harry and whispering reassuring things. Harry struggled at first before relaxing into the hug and crying into Sirius' shoulder.

Sirius glanced at Remus, an angry look in his eyes, and Remus flinched, "Could you get us both a mug of tea?" Sirius asked him, keeping his voice even. Remus nodded and left the room, his hands shaking slightly. When he returned Harry was fast asleep in the bed and Sirius was staring out of the window.

"I didn't mean to upset him." Remus whispered. "I just asked if he wanted any food and he said he didn't deserve it… I snapped that of course he deserved it… I just didn't think."

"I know…" Sirius sighed, "It's difficult to know what might upset him… I was really angry at you but part of me knew it wasn't your fault… So I sent you to make tea, so that I could get Harry to sleep and calm myself down… I was so worried I'd hurt you again. And then I saw the way you flinched, and your hands shaking and I just wanted to cry that I can make you that scared of me…" Sirius whispered.

"Siri…"

"No! I could see it on your face Rem, you were scared I'd beat you up again." Sirius said, tears in his eyes. "You deserve better." Neither of the two men noticed that Harry's eyes were now open, and wide at what he was hearing.

"Sirius we went through this this morning." Remus growled, "There is no better, there is only you."

"But I cheated on you." Sirius sobbed.

Remus shrugged, "A long time ago, and I cheated on you too." He said quietly.

"Yea but I cheated on you lots." Sirius cried, "With loads of different people."

Remus sighed, pulling his husband towards him, "And I cheated on you lots, but with one person, which probably makes me worse." He said "None of that matters now Siri. We're okay, you and me. We've got our family here, Sev and Harry." Harry closed his eyes quickly as Remus glanced at him, "Nothing can tear us apart now."

"But I -"

"Shush…" Remus whispered, kissing his husband, "Now I thought you were going to take me to bed and make love to me."

"It's only six o'clock." Sirius whispered.

"So? Let's be naughty for a change." Remus grinned, leading his lover out of the room.

Once they were gone Harry sat up in his bed, "Shit." He muttered to himself, Running a hand through his hair Harry climbed out of bed, leaving the room he ignored the giggles coming from Remus and Sirius' room and instead headed downstairs, sitting on the sofa in the living room and cuddling his knees to his chest. "You okay?" Came Severus' voice from the doorway a few minutes later, Harry gave a shrug as Severus walked into the room and sat opposite him.

"Their marriage is in crisis…" The teenager muttered, "Sirius is hitting Remus and both of them have had affairs… They need space to sort it out… and they can't do that with me and my crap around."

Severus didn't ask how Harry knew all of this, he simply shrugged, "The affairs happened a long time ago. As for Sirius' temper… well it's being dealt with."

"Yeah… He said, cause he sent Remus to make tea earlier so that he had time to cool down." Harry nodded.

"Exactly," Severus smiled, "So I wouldn't exactly say their marriage is in crisis." Well so long as neither of them found out who the other had cheated with, he thought to himself. "Yea but…" Harry trailed off.

"They're fine Harry. Every couple hits a few bumps along their way." Severus said, Harry nodded, sighing and looking at his feet, "How are you doing?" Severus asked, "I know Sirius is being a little bit overbearing but it's only because he cares."

"Yeah… It can be a bit much at times though…" Harry laughed softly but there was no happiness in his eyes. "I tried smoking earlier." He said suddenly, not sure why he wanted to tell Severus this, "Nearly choked to death and burnt a hole in the carpet… Remus found me… He told me off for stealing the cigarettes and is making me do the washing up for a few days."

"How did that make you feel?" Severus asked.

"Like a normal teenager." Harry smiled. "It felt good…"

Severus smiled too, "Well if you're meant to be washing up there are a few dishes you could do…" Harry groaned and Severus laughed, "Come on, you wash, I'll dry." He said, standing up and helping Harry to do the same, laughing, they headed into the kitchen.

* * *

~*~*~*~*~

_**Please Review.**_


	7. Torrey Smith and deaging potions

_**Sorry for the delay. Thanks to everyone who has been reviewing.**_

* * *

**~*~*~*~**

**Torrey Smith and de-aging potions.**

**~*~*~*~**

"Hello, you must be Harry, I'm Torrey Smith." The tall, blonde, man smiled.

"Pleased to meet you." Harry muttered, not really sounding, or feeling, it.

"Right." Remus said, "We'll leave you to it then." He ignored Harry's pleading look and half dragged Sirius out of the room. Harry watched them go with a terrified look on his face,

Torrey gave him a gentle smile, "Do you like to play chess Harry?"

"Chess?"

"Yep."

Harry frowned, "It's all right, I usually lose though."

"So do I." Torrey laughed, "Would you like a game now?" He asked, nodding to the chess in the corner of the room. Harry frowned some more, this wasn't going quite the way he wanted to but he nodded anyway and went and sat down by the chess set.

**~*~*~*~*~**

Remus bit at Sirius' neck as he pulled the man's shirt off, he ran his hands up Sirius' chest. "Do you think Harry will be okay?" Sirius asked suddenly and Remus groaned.

"Harry will be fine." He muttered, moving away from Sirius and throwing himself onto the bed.

"What's up?" Sirius asked.

Remus gave his husband a surprised look before sighing as he realised that Sirius really had no clue. "Nothing."

"No it's not nothing, one minute you're undressing me and the next you're stropping." Sirius said. "What's up?"

"Maybe you mentioning your teenage godson kind of put me off sex." Remus snapped.

Sirius frowned, "Sorry." He muttered, "I'm just worried about him."

"I know, just tell me if you want to talk about him… Don't just suddenly bring him up when we're fooling around." Remus laughed, "Please."

"Sorry." Sirius said again, smiling slightly and sitting on the bed next to Remus.

"You want to talk about it then?" Remus asked.

Sirius shook his head, "Nah, want sex." He said making Remus laugh. Remus leant up and kissed Sirius softly, Sirius kissed back, his hands moving onto Remus' chest. Sirius moved away before he straddled Remus' chest and bent down to kiss him again. Remus' hands moved and grabbed at Sirius' arse, clutching it and making Sirius moan into his mouth. Sirius unbuttoned Remus' shirt and lowered his mouth, latching it onto the man's right nipple. Remus groaned as there was a knock on the door. "What?" Sirius yelled out, moving off Remus.

"Torrey's done talking to Harry." Severus said, looking around the door and wincing as he took in their dishevelled states.

"Already?" Remus asked.

"It has been over an hour and a half." Severus pointed out. Both men sighed and buttoned ther shirts back up, smoothing down their hair. Once they looked alright the three of them headed downstairs.

"You were right." Remus smirked at Severus on the way down, "You are becoming the no sex fairy." Sirius burst out laughing at that and Severus pouted.

"It's cause I'm not getting any, my subconscious is trying to stop everyone else getting laid too." He decided which just made Sirius laugh even more, the animagus calmed himself as they reached the living room and he went in to talk to Torrey. "Might go out tonight." Severus told Remus as they walked towards the kitchen where they knew Harry was.

"Yea?" Remus asked, "You that desperate for a shag?"

"Only chance I've got really of getting laid… Maybe there'll be someone drunk enough to fancy me." Severus muttered,

"Stop talking about yourself like that!" Remus snapped, "Loads of people like you…"

"Like who?" Severus snorted.

"Nymphadora Tonks and Bill Weasley to name a few."

Severus raised an eyebrow, "If you say so." He muttered, "I'm still going out tonight."

Remus sighed, "Well use protection yea? And don't drink too much, stay aware of your surroundings."

"Yea yea. Stop lecturing." Severus laughed, walking into the kitchen, "You okay?" He asked Harry who was sat at the table sipping a glass of water.

The teenager nodded, "We played chess." He said.

"Is that it?" Remus asked, a look of confusion on his face.

"No, we talked a bit… about my life. Only what i wanted to say like, so I just told him about doing chores and stuff when I was younger… He said that that was no way to spend a childhood." Harry shrugged, "He's a bit of a wierdo really, tries to do that thing where he doesn't talk much in the hope I will. It's all bullshit."

"Language." Remus said, almost automatically.

"Right, sorry." Harry said, not really sounding it, Remus gave the boy an exasperated look before turning to the oven and switching the gas on, "Chips and sausage okay for dinner?"

"I don't eat meat." Harry muttered. Remus frowned and scanned his mind before realising that they hadn't actually had any meat in the past few days so they wouldn't have been told, although he was sure he'd seen Harry eating meat in his third year… Oh god, Diggory, Harry must have gone off meat after seeing Diggory die. "Sorry." Harry mumbled after Remus said nothing in reply to his vegetarian status.

"No, No don't be sorry, We'll have chips and eggs instead yea?" Remus smiled, "If it bothers you a lot we can clear the house of meat, Although I tend to require it around the full moon I'll make sure it's away from you."

"No it's fine." Harry said, "I just don't want to eat it that's all… And it's not about Cedric before you assume that, I just find it wrong to eat animals, Blame 'Mione, she started it." Remus and Severus exchanged smirks, they knew how persuasive the girl could be. The door to the kitchen opened and Sirius walked in, he looked at Harry and let out a long breathe, "He told you about the kid thing didn't he?" Harry mumbled.

"What kid thing?" Remus asked summoning the chips from the freezer and putting them on a tray and into the oven. Sirius sighed and sat down at the table, Severus took the seat opposite him and Remus, after closing the oven door, took the fourth chair. "Torrey thinks that, because Harry missed out on important parts of childhood, that we should give him a de-aging potion and give him a few weeks as a child again, in a safe and loving home." Sirius explained.

"How old would he become?" Severus asked apprehensively, Remus gave him a strange look and Severus flushed. For some reason he hadn't been able to get the fact that Harry kissed him off his mind, he was trying to put it down to sexual frustration, which was partly the reason he was heading out tonight, but the thought of a younger Harry around when his head was spinning so much made Severus wince.

"Eleven." Sirius said,

Harry stood up, "Bathroom." He explained when Sirius opened his mouth to ask where he was going.

"Why eleven?" Remus asked once Harry was gone.

"'Cause then he's young enough to be able to act like a child and get something from the experience but not too young to be able to deal with what Vernon did. I mean not that it's easy to deal with anyway but if he was much younger than eleven he wouldn't understand what had happened…" Sirius tried to explain.

"I guess it's worth a try if it makes Harry feel better." Remus muttered, Severus gave a small nod.

Sirius smiled, "Well it's up to Harry." He said, "So when, or if, he says yes then we'll call Tyler back and he'll give us the potion."

* * *

~*~*~*~

**Please review.**


	8. Alcohol

**Sorry for the delay, hope you like this chapter.**

* * *

**~*~*~*~**

**Alcohol.**

**~*~*~*~**

Harry didn't mention the de-aging over the next few days, and every time one of the men tried to bring the subject up he would walk away. It had been two weeks since Torrey had first mentioned it and Remus had just tried to ask Harry what his opinion was, when met with a stony silence the werewolf had gone to tell Sirius but hadn't been able to find him. Sirius' muggle phone was turned off and Remus walked into the living room, collapsing onto the sofa. "What's up?" Severus asked from where he was sat in the armchair.

"Sirius has disappeared again… Like he did last week." Remus scowled, Severus frowned slightly, "So he'll probably just turn up at six again and say sorry but give no information." Remus added angrily.

"Maybe he has a good reason…" Severus murmured, although he couldn't think of one.

"Or maybe he's having an affair." Remus muttered.

Severus' eyes widened and his eyebrows shot up, "That's a very serious accusation Rem." He said quietly, although he was instantly planning on confronting Sirius.

Remus sighed, "Yeah, I know… 'S just he's acting exactly like he did last time… When he was sleeping with other people." He said, wrinkling his nose, then he sighed, "I don't wanna talk about it… How was your night last night? Heard you come in at three." He smirked.

Severus flushed, "I didn't wake you did I?" He asked, concerned.

"No, no, I couldn't sleep… Full moon in a few days." Remus explained.

Severus nodded, "It was an okay night, kinda boring to be honest… met a nice guy."

Remus grinned, "Oh yeah?"

"Hmm…Waited until after we'd had sex to tell me he was married with kids though." Severus said.

"Ah…" Remus mumbled, "Shit."

Severus nodded his agreement. "Good shag though." He said as an afterthought, making Remus snort with laughter. "Got his number…" Severus added quietly.

"Sev..." Remus sighed, "Do not go after someone like that, no matter how good looking they are… You can do so much better."

Severus raised an eyebrow, "Can I?" He muttered.

"Yes! Besides… You shouldn't get into an affair anyway… they fuck up relationships." Remus said quietly, his mind drifting back to Sirius.

"Rem… I'm sure there's a reasonable explanation for where Sirius is." Severus said quietly, Remus simply shrugged. Severus was about to say something else to help his friend when they heard a loud thump from upstairs.

~*~*~*~

Both men raced up the stairs to Harry's room and stopped in shock at the doorway. The teenager was lying on the bed with three empty bottles of firewhisky next to him. "'Ello." He slurred before giggling.

"Cold shower." Severus muttered to Remus, "I'll go make some strong tea." He added, unsure if he could cope with seeing Harry naked, Remus nodded and Severus left.

Remus walked over to Harry, "Harry?" He asked quietly, "Do you want -" He was cut off as Harry vomited on the bedclothes. Remus wrinkled his nose as the smell hit his senses and quickly summoned a bucket so that Harry could throw up into it. Once Harry seemed to have finished vomiting Remus helped him through into the bathroom and turned the shower on before stripping Harry's sick covered clothes off. He physically picked the, now naked, young man up and placed him in the bathtub. Ignoring Harry's yelp as he was covered in cold water.

"Why did he hurt me?" Harry mumbled as he slowly began to sober up.

"I don't know sweetie." Remus sighed, making the shower slightly warmer now that Harry was sobering up, Remus washed the boys hair quickly, making sure to remove all of the vomit. Finally Remus turned the shower off and helped Harry up, Harry was by now sober enough to realise that he was naked in front of his godfather and turned bright red, Remus simply pulled a towel around the boy, not caring how embarrassed he was making his godson feel. They headed back into the bedroom where Severus had cleaned the bed and got a set of pyjamas out for Harry, there was a mug of hot tea on the bedside table. Remus helped Harry into the pyjamas and then under the covers of the bed before handing him the mug of tea, "How are you feeling?" He asked once Harry was finished drinking, he knew that Severus had added a mild sobering potion to the drink which should help Harry make a bit more sense now.

"Got a headache." Harry mumbled, "And I feel a bit stupid… I'm sorry… I just… It's meant to help you forget stuff…"

"Only for a brief period of time." Remus said quietly. "The amount you drank was dangerous Harry, especially at your age."

"I bet you drank when you were my age!" Harry snapped.

Remus sighed, "Not that much, and defiantly not alone! Look… I understand why you did it… But that doesn't make it excusable."

"More washing up?" Harry asked moodily.

"Every meal time for two weeks." Remus clarified, Harry wrinkled his nose but didn't argue.

The bedroom door opened then and Severus walked in, he was carrying a small vial of potion, "Is it okay for him to have this?" He asked Remus who nodded, Severus handed the vial to Harry, "Headache healer." He explained.

Harry swallowed it quickly, "Why did you ask if it was okay for me to have it?" He asked.

"Some parents don't let their children have them to heal hangovers." Remus explained, "They believe that letting them deal with the hangover is a punishment for getting drunk."

Harry's eyes widened, boy was he glad Remus hadn't done that! "Where's Sirius?" He asked quietly.

"Umm… He had to pop out for a while." Remus muttered. "You should get some sleep," He added, smiling at Harry and taking the empty mug away from him.

"I… I think I might try the de-aging thing." Harry said, "You know, since my methods of getting over this aren't working too well."

"Okay, I'll let Torrey know." Remus smiled, Harry nodded, glad the werewolf wasn't making a big deal out of it. "You want me to stay whilst you go to sleep?" Remus asked, Harry shook his head, "Okay, I'll wake you in time for dinner then." Remus promised, kissing Harry's forehead and leaving the room, Severus gave Harry a small smile before following Remus. Remus and Severus walked silently down the stairs and into the living room, "Fucking hell." Remus yelled once they were there and the door was shut, Severus sat down and simply looked at his friend.

"At least he's willing to try the de-aging." He said finally. Remus only grunted in reply before sitting next to Severus on the sofa, he pulled out his muggle phone and glanced at it before, seeing no new messages from Sirius, throwing it across the room.

Severus looked at him worriedly, "Rem maybe he has a good -" Severus was cut off as Remus' lips covered his own, he jerked away, "What the hell?"

"Well I like you… and if he's cheating then why can't I give in and sleep with who I like?" Remus said before kissing Severus again, Severus didn't pull back this time, he took out all his frustrations about his feelings for Harry, using them to kiss Remus… even going as far as pretending that Remus was Harry. Their tongues clashed together and their hands slid up each other's shirts. Then they heard a small gasp from the doorway and broke apart just in time to see Harry turning and leaving.

"Fuck!"

* * *

**Please review.**


	9. Affairs of sorts

**Second chapter today... I'm doing well!**

* * *

**~*~*~*~**

**Affairs of sorts...**

**~*~*~*~**

Severus leapt to his feet and raced after Harry, he found the boy sat on a bench at the bottom of the garden, still wearing his pyjamas. "Go away." Harry growled.

"Please, let me explain." Severus begged, Harry looked up at him and scowled before giving a small nod. Severus gave a sigh of relief, he noticed that Harry was shivering and so summoned a cloak and handing it to the teenager who took it without saying a thing. "I… Rem and Sirius had a row… Sort of." Severus said quietly, "Rem was trying to get back at Sirius… I was just… well being an idiot really." Severus muttered, pleased when he got a small smile out of Harry.

"Do you like Remus?" Harry asked the spy.

"I don't dislike him." Severus smiled, "But no, I don't fancy him or anything… I just… I was just trying to get over someone else."

"Oh." Harry muttered.

Noticing the boy was still shivering Severus said, "We should get you back inside." Harry looked up at him and gave a small nod, letting Severus help him up off the bench. Severus wrapped an arm around Harry and led him back towards the house, trying to ignore how nice it felt, _He is just a child!, _The spy reminded himself angrily. Tey headed into the kitchen and Severus put the kettle on before making three mugs of tea, he also turned the gas on and put a pan of pasta on to boil, "Can you keep an eye on that whilst I go and talk to Remus?" Severus asked Harry.

"Sure… Just try to keep your tongue to yourself." Harry smirked making Severus flush and leave the room quickly. Severus headed down the corridor towards the living room,

Remus was still sat on the sofa, staring at the fire with tears streaking down his cheeks, "What have I done?" He asked Severus brokenly when the man walked in.

Severus sighed and handed the werewolf a mug of tea, "You need to talk to Sirius, find out exactly what he's up to. Don't try and get back at him by kissing someone else… I… I shouldn't have kissed back but… well we both know I'm gagging for it!" Severus said, trying to break the tension, it seemed to work as Remus laughed.

"Is Harry okay?" Remus asked softly, taking a sip of his drink.

Severus nodded, "Yeah, i told him you and Sirius had had a row… he seemed to be okay. He's making dinner now so i should probably go back and make sure he's okay. Come with? It'll take your mind off stuff." Remus agreed and followed Severus back towards the kitchen. Harry looked up when they walked in and gave a small smile,. "Thought you were sleeping." Remus said softly.

"I'm not too tired." Harry replied, "Plus if I sleep now I wont sleep later."

Remus nodded before turning to Severus, "What do you need me to do?" He asked quietly,

Severus thought for a moment before saying, "Chop some onions for the sauce." As Remus did that Severus turned to Harry, "Could you grate some cheese?" He asked, pulling the grater out of one of the drawers, Harry gave a small grin and crossed to the fridge, grabbing the cheese.

**~*~*~*~**

Severus was down in his lab working on a potion a few hours after dinner when the door opened, glancing up he saw Harry. "Sirius got back so I figured I should let him and Remus talk if they've had a row." Harry said, "Can I help you?"

"Umm sure… I'm making Polyjuice, you might want to read the book there for instructions."

"Oh I'm familiar with the Polyjuice." Harry smirked, Severus raised an eyebrow, "We… We kinda thought Malfoy was the heir of Slytherin in second year so used Polyjuice to disguise our selves as Crabbe and Goyle.." Harry admitted. Severus stared at him for a few seconds before bursting into laughter. Harry frowned, he'd expected to be yelled at. "God you kids should ahve been expelled ages ago." Severus choked out before calming down and handing Harry a knife, "Can you cut those please?" He asked, nodding towards some slimy roots. Harry took the knife and began to do as he was told.

"So… Who were you trying to get over by kissing Remus?" Harry asked, Severus' eyebrows shot up and Harry winced, "Sorry, that was rude… I…"

"It's fine… Just… some one I met a few days ago." Severus lied. "He's married." He added, well this person did exist so he wasn't lying completely…

"Ouch." Harry muttered, "So you went from one married man to another?!" He added with a smirk, handing over the cut up roots.

Severus added them to the potion, "Umm… Yeah… I guess I did. Pretty stupid right?!"

"Just a bit… Not that I know anything about relationships." Harry shrugged. "I… I had my first kiss last year… And although I didn't love him it stll felt good… until Vernon… well you know… now it just feels like I did something wrong… something dirty."

"I know that if I tell you there was nothing dirty about it you wont believe me." Severus sighed, "You have to be able to tell yourself that and believe it, which will take time."

Harry nodded, "I… I was already halfway to feeling like I'd done something wrong anywya… before Vernon did… that." He admitted, "It was Cedric Diggory I kissed and I felt bad because he was dating Cho… and then when he died it was like ten times worse…"

"Oh Harry." Severus whispered, drawing the boy into a hug, Harry wrapped his arms around Severus and rested his head against the man's chest.

"Why does the crap always happen to me?" Harry asked moodily.

"I have no idea…" Severus whispered, stroking the boys hair.

They heard a yell from upstairs followed by the sound of a door slamming. "Are they going to split up?" Harry asked,

"No, no they'll be fine." Severus said, although he had no idea if he was right or not. "Umm… Why don't you go get ready for bed? I'll go check on them."

Once he knew that Harry was safely in his room, Severus headed off in search of either Remus or Sirius, he found Remus sat in the living room crying. "What happened? Is he having an affair?" Severus asked which only made Remus sob louder. Finally the werewolf calmed down, "He's been with Torrey Smith." He sobbed, Severus' eyebrows shot up, Sirius was sleeping with Torrey?! "Having anger management." Remus added.

"Wha- What?" Severus croaked.

"Yeah… He wasn't having an affair at all… And he's angry at me for thinking the worst." Remus whispered, "I… I didn't tell him about the… the kiss… I couldn't… he'll hate me even more… Can you -"

"My lips are sealed." Severus promised, "Where is he now?"

Remus gave a small shrug, "I think he went upstairs." He murmured.

"Okay." Severus said quietly, "I'll go talk to him yeah? Maybe I can fix this." Severus squeezed Remus' shoulder gently before leaving the was sat on his and Remus' bed with a packed trunk next to him, "Siri?" Severus asked.

"Hi… Umm… Can I move into the spare room?" Sirius asked,

Severus sighed but nodded, "I… Try to work it out yeah? You've been through so much together." He begged.

"I'll try." Sirius promised, resting his head on Severus' shoulder as the man sat down next to him. Severus wrapped his arm around his friend and let out a sigh.

* * *

**please review.**


	10. Deaged

_**Thanks to everyone who has been reviewing. Glad you are enjoying it.**_

* * *

**~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~**

**De-aged.**

**~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~**

They decided to wait until after the full moon to give Harry the de-aging potion. Things was pretty tense in the house, Sirius was still sleeping in the spare room and he and Remus were barely talking, Severus couldn't help but hope that this might bring them together again. "I'm scared." Harry muttered, he and Severus were sat in the living room waiting for Remus, Sirius and Torrey to arrive with the potion.

"That's okay." Severus said softly, taking Harry's hand, "It's normal to be scared… It'll be fine though, trust me." Harry looked at him and gave a small smile before nodding, Severus winced and tried to ignore the fluttering in his stomach,_ I am going straight to hell… _The door opened then and Torrey walked in, followed by Remus and Sirius, he was holding a small vial of potion and Harry visibly gulped at the sight of it.

"If you change your mind at all after being de-aged just tell Remus, Severus or Sirius and they will come and find me okay?" Torrey said, Harry nodded, "I got some clothes that should fit your eleven year old self, if you want to take the potion in private then you can go into the other room and do so, then let us see how it's gone." Harry nodded again and took the potion and clothes off Torrey before leaving the room. Sirius sighed and sat down on the sofa, Remus sat next to him and took his husband's hand, squeezing it gently, when Sirius looked up and gave Remus a small smile Severus gave a sigh of relief, maybe they could work through their problems, he smiled as Remus' face lit up. The door opened ten minutes later and Harry poked his head around it, he looked exactly as Severus remembered him looking four years ago. "How are you feeling?" Torrey asked as Harry walked further into the room.

Harry gave a small shrug, making the slightly too large clothes rise and fall on his tiny shoulders. "Little." He said quietly.

"But you don't have a headache or feel sick?"

"Just really tired." Harry said.

Torrey nodded, "That's a common side effect, If you go to bed soon, and then get up at the usual time tomorrow it should pass, Any questions?" Harry shook his head, "Okay well I better go. I'll be by in a few days to see how you're doing but if you need anything before then don't hesitate to call me." Torrey smiled, he said goodbye to them all before leaving.

Harry walked over to the mirror and looked in it for a few minutes, pulling strange faces to see how different his face was. Then he scowled and walked over to the sofa and threw himself onto it, scowling at Sirius who winced. "What did I do?" He asked, Harry simply shrugged and continued to scowl before finally standing up and walking out of the room.

"So… he has the mental age of an eleven year old?" Remus asked, Sirius nodded, "I thought fifteen year olds were meant to be stroppier than eleven year olds but Harry seems to have mixed it up." Remus muttered making Sirius laugh.

"I'll go talk to him." Severus offered, leaving the room and heading upstairs.

**~*~*~*~*~*~HP~HP~*~*~*~*~*~**

Harry was holding a toy airoplane and making bombing sounds as he ran around the room making it fly, Severus smiled at how happy he seemed. The second Harry spotted Severus he froze and quickly sat down on the bed. "Hey." Severus said softly, walking further into the room, "How are you feeling?"

"Sleepy." Harry muttered.

Severus nodded, "Do you want to go to sleep? I could read you a story."

"I'm eleven Severus, not a baby!" Harry snapped before wincing, "Sorry… I didn't mean to be rude… Please don't hurt me." He begged, moving backwards so that he was pressed against the wall and as far away from Severus as possible.

"I'm not going to hurt you..." Severus promised, moving closer to the boy, Harry was shaking with fear but Severus pulled him into a hug anyway, the boy was tense and Severus sighed to himself, he was about to call Sirius when Harry suddenly hugged him back,

"Don't let me go." The child whimpered.

"I wont." Severus promised, pressing a soft kiss to the boy's forehead and trying to ignore the fluttery feeling in his chest, he closed his eyes in anger at himself, the kid was eleven for Merlin's sake!! Harry cried into Severus' shirt until he finally fell asleep. When he felt Harry's breathing even out Severus shifted him slightly and smiled at how peaceful he looked. Severus set Harry under the covers and cast a quick spell to transform his clothes into pyjamas. Then he brushed the boys hair from his face and turned the light off, leaving the room.

"How is he?" Remus asked as Severus walked back in.

"He's... He's... I think he's going to be okay." Severus smiled, he sat down opposite Remus and Sirius. "He's asleep now." He added. Sirius nodded, running a hand through his hair, they were all silent for a while until Sirius picked up the television remote and turned it on, flicking through the channels before stopping on some medical drama. "Want a mug of tea?" Severus asked quietly.

"Please." Sirius said, looking up and smiling, Remus nodded too and Severus rose, leaving the room and heading into the kitchen. He filled the kettle and set it to boil before sitting down at the table and resting his elbows on the table, he took a shaky breathe and was surprised to feel tears prickling in his eyes, Severus rested his head in his hands and let the tears fall, letting out all his frustrations at those stupid feelings he had for Harry. Finally he calmed himself down and poured the boiling water from the kettle out into the mugs, watching as the water turned a murky brown as it hit the teabags. When he carried them through into the living room he could only raise an eyebrow at the sight before him, Sirius and Remus were making out on the sofa, shirts being unbuttoned quickly as Sirius moved his hand towards Remus' crotch. Severus gave a small sigh and headed back to the kitchen, placing all the mugs of tea down on the table and grabbing a bottle of firewhisky, drinking half of it in one go. He was glad that Remus and Sirius were sorting out their problems but it also made him feel more alone than ever, Severus moved towards the kitchen drawer and pulled out the muggle mobile phone he kept there, he also pulled out a small piece of parchment with a telephone number on it... Severus bit at his lip, wondering whether he should phone this man... The married man he'd met at a club a week or so ago... On hearing Remus moan Sirius' name Severus made his decision and typed out the number, pressing call.

* * *

_**Happy new year! More up soon.**_


	11. Love and Sex

_**I'm sorry for the delay, and for the shortness of this chapter... I see to be slightly stuck on this story at the moment but I promise I'll keep at it, if you have any ideas for the plot then let me know!**_

* * *

**~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~**

**Love and Sex...**

**~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
**

"Hey, I was looking for you last night, and this morning." Remus told Severus as the man walked into the living room, "Should have said you were going out, you worried us."

"Yeah well you were kind of busy when I left." Severus snapped, turning and stomping into the kitchen.

Remus frowned and followed his friend, understanding the man's bad temper when he grabbed a hangover potion from the cupboard, "Rough night?" He asked, Severus simply grunted. "Sirius took Harry shopping for toys." Remus added, trying to make conversation, Severus grunted again as he poured himself some coffee. "Sev? Are you okay?" Remus asked softly.

"I'm fine." Seveus snapped, slamming his mug down onto the counter in as way that reminded Remus of Sirius when he was angry, he flinched at the thought and Severus looked at him in surprise. "I'm fine." He repeated, slightly quieter.

"I don't believe you." Remus replied, "Look you can either tell me now or wait an hour or two and have Sirius pester you all day..." He said, Severus sighed knowing that Remus was right.

"You know when you really like someone... Even though you shouldn't?" Severus asked, "And you try not to but you can't help it and it really, really hurts. When you know it's really wrong but you just..." Severus trailed off, burying his head in his hands and wishing he hadn't spoken.

"Your married man?" Remus asked and Severus nodded because letting him believe that was a hell of a lot better than telling him the truth. "Oh Sev..." Remus murmured, taking his friend's hand, "Look, I know it's tough but these feelings will pass."

"You're right." Severus said, although he didn't believe it, "I'm gonna go get some sleep okay?"

"Sure." Remus smiled, squeezing Severus' hand gently, "If you need anything you know where I am." He said, Severus nodded, picking up his mug of coffee and leaving the room, heading upstairs. He put the mug of coffee down on his bedside table, running both his hands through his hair as he remembered last night, remembered having sex with the married man, remembered wishing it was Harry... "I am so screwed." He muttered to himself quietly.

_**~*~*~*~*~HP~HP~*~*~*~*~**_

"Why do people have sex?" Harry asked Sirius, they were sat in the living room and Harry had been reading a book whilst Sirius flicked through the paper,

"What?" Sirius croaked.

"Men and women do it to have babies right? But why do other people do it? It's icky..." Harry pulled a face, "And it hurts..."

Sirius sighed and patted the seat next to him, Harry went and sat down. "What Vernon did was wrong... But sex isn't always like that, it doesn't always hurt." Sirius started.

"Seamus said it did." Harry interrupted.

Sirius nodded, "Right, well.. Usually... Sometimes... The first time can hurt, if you were with a man and he was... was penetrating... It might hurt at first..." Sirius said, hoping he was making sense. "But sex is something beautiful Harry." He added awkwardly, "Something that two people who are in love share."

"But... Some people have sex when they're not in love." Harry said,

Sirius could see the boys confusion and nodded, poor kid had all these memories of hearing about or talking about sex with his friends and was now trying to figure them out in his eleven year old brain. "Some people do, and there's nothing wrong with that, sex can be something fun... But it's better to wait until it's with someone you love at first..."

Harry wrinkled his nose, "I'm never having sex, it's gross." He said making Sirius laugh, what an eleven year old comment! Harry was quiet for a moment, "Why would someone rape someone else?" He asked quietly after a while, "Did I do something wrong... Is that why?"

"No! No..." Sirius tried to reassure the boy, wrapping his arm around Harry, "You did nothing wrong. Sometimes people are ill in the head and sometimes they're just bad. But it was not your fault Harry, believe me."

Harry gave a small nod and buried his head in Sirius' chest, his small shoulder's shaking with sobs. "I'm sorry." He cried.

"You have nothing to be sorry for." Sirius promised, holding his godson tightly, and even though he was sat there, with Harry crying into his chest, Sirius felt happy, knowing that they had made some progress.

_**~*~*~*~*~HP~HP~*~*~*~*~**_

Sirius wrapped his arms around Remus from behind and rested his head on his husband's shoulder as they watched Harry fly around the garden on his broom. "He looks so happy." Sirius murmured, "Do you think... Do you think we would have been good parents? If I hadn't got sent to prison and we'd got custody?" He asked quietly, feeling guilty for wishing that he'd got the chance when he really should have been wishing that James and Lily had never died... Of course he wished that too but...

"You would have been great." Remus replied, "Not sure the Ministry would have let me look after him though."

Sirius scowled at that, hating the prejudice world they lived in, "Well I think you'd make a great dad." He said angrily.

Remus smiled, turning slightly so that he could kiss Sirius, "Thak you." He whispered before, "Sometimes I do wish we'd had the chnace to have children of our own, you know with a surrogote or adoption or whatever... But we have Harry, and Lily once said that we were practically his fathers too. We may have missed a lot of his life but we're here now Siri, we can help him through this and then be a proper family." Remus turned back to watch as Harry darted about, trying to find the training snitch they'd got him.

Sirius smiled and pressed a kiss to Remus' neck, "You're right." He whispered.

* * *

_**Please let me know what you think, and if you have any ideas to help me move the plot along a bit...**_


	12. Explorers

_**~*~*~*~*~*~**_

**Explorers.**

_**~*~*~*~*~*~  
**_

"Here, got you some presents." Severus said, throwing a bag down on Harry's bed, the boy frowned and opened the bag, smiling as he tipped out the contents, there were books and toys. The books were aimed at ten to twelve year old's which was good because the only current fiction in the house was either adult or older teens. The toys were also aimed at ten year old boys; there was a box of lego, some remote control cars, a couple of board games, a rubix cube and an art set. "Thank you!" Harry exclaimed, flinging his arms around Severus who hugged him tightly. "This must have cost a fortune..." Harry whispered.

"Don't worry about it. It's what all kids your age should have." Severus smiled, pressing a soft kiss to Harry's head before stepping away. "Right well... I have to go and make a potion." He said.

"Can I help?" Harry asked.

"No." Severus said sadly, unable to stand being alone with Harry for too long when his feelings for the boy were so confusing. "Oh." Harry muttered.

"It's a complicated potion, but I have to have it ready by tonight so I don't have the time to explain it to you." Severus said quietly, "Another time though, I promise."

"Okay." Harry shrugged. Severus gave him a small smile before leaving the bedroom and Harry sighed, sitting down on the bed and wondering what he had done to make Severus mad at him. Harry wrinkled his nose slightly before picking up the box of lego and wondering if he could build a replica of Hogwarts.

_**~*~*~*~*~HP~HP~*~*~*~*~**_

Severus sighed and Torrey looked over at him, "Are you okay?"

"I'm fine!" Severus snapped.

"You don't seem fine..."

Severus scowled, "You're Harry's shrink, not mine! So just leave me the fuck alone!" He yelled before stalking out of the room. Remus poked his head around the kitchen door, "What was that about?" He asked with a frown.

Torrey shrugged, "I dunno... That guy has some issues." He muttered.

"Yeah..." Remus murmured, "Could you try talking to him? Please? I've tried but... You know." He gave a small shrug. Torrey sighed, "I'll see what I can do." He promised, "But first where's Harry? I have an appointment to keep."

__"Sirius is just fetching him now, he's playing 'explorers' in the tall grass at the bottom of the garden." Remus explained. Torrey laughed at that, "Is the de-aging going well then?" He asked.

"Harry seems a lot more relaxed." Remus said, "We took him shopping yesterday, just at a muggle supermarket, and he didn't seem as scared of people. I really think it's helping you know? It's easier for him to run around and feel free at this age, whereas if he was still fifteen he'd feel stupid."

"Yup, that's what I thought." Torrey smiled. "So... Hows Sirius doing in your opinion?" He asked quietly, having been told by the animagus that Remus now knew about the anger management.

"He's better, much better... I can sometimes see him getting angry and he can obviously tell when it's happening because he sends me from the room. The other week he raised his fist at me and then suddenly spun around and punched the wall." Remus said quietly, "But he gets so guilty about it..."

"Good. The guilt is good, if he didn't feel guilty then he'd be more likely to hit you." Torrey said. "And we're working on the punching walls thing, I'm trying to get him to calm down before he breaks his knuckles."

Remus nodded, "Would you like to stay for dinner?" He asked.

Torrey pulled a face, "I'm not really meant to... Since Harry and Sirius are my patients..."

"It's pasta bake."

"You got me. I'd love to stay." Torrey grinned, "Might stop the girlfriend complaining I don't eat enough!" He added with a laugh.

"This the same girlfriend you mentioned last time or a new one?" Remus asked, everytime Torrey mentioned a girl she seemed to have a different name!

Torrey smiled, "Same actually."

"Wow."

"Yeah I know. It's been over three weeks, I'm setting a record!" Torrey laughed, looking up as Harry and Sirius walked in. Harry was pretty muddy and had a twig in his hair, "Sorry it took so long. Thought I'd actually lost him for a while." Sirius said with a grin making Torrey and Remus laugh.

_**~*~*~*~*~HP~HP~*~*~*~*~**_

"You still here?" Severus asked moodily when Torrey appeared in his bedroom doorway.

"'Fraid so. Remus has asked me to stay for dinner to so there's no escape!" Torrey joked, Severus groaned in reply, "So... You seem pretty down... And Remus said -"

"I'm fine." Severus growled.

Torrey rolled his eyes, "You sound it." He said sarcastically, walking into the room and closing the door.

"Oh do come in." Severus drawled, scowling at the younger man who smirked.

Torrey leant his head to the side slightly, "Thank you." He said making Severus groan again. "So..."

Severus gave a low growl, "Look, If there was anything wrong, which there isn't, I wouldn't bloody well tell you about it!" He snapped.

"Who would you tell?" Torrey asked gently.

"Anyone but you! Now piss off." Severus said angrily.

Torrey sighed, "Alright fine, Remus said to tell you that dinner is ready." He said. Severus pulled a face but followed Torrey downstairs and into the kitchen, Remus waited until they had sat down before putting plates of food in front of them.

There was no sign of Harry or Sirius and Severus asked where they were, "Harry's just getting cleaned up, Sirius went to find him." Remus said, "What would you like to drink?"

"Water." Severus replied, Remus turned to look at Torrey.

"Water's good." The younger man smiled.

Remus got them both glasses of water as Harry and Sirius walked in, "What do you two want to drink?" Remus asked them.

"Can I have coke?" Harry asked as he sat down.

Sirius wrinkled his nose, "Will you go insanely hyper?" He asked.

"Off one coke? I'm not five Sirius." Harry said, rollign his eyes as Remus pured a can of coke into a glass and handed it to Harry.

"SIirus gets insanely hyper off a sip of coke!" The werewolf told Harry who giggled.

"Do not." Sirius grumbled, getting himself a glass of water, kissing Remus lightly and sitting down at the table, Remus sat next to him and they all began to eat, although Torrey noticed that Severus was only picking at his food. Harry, on the other hand, was eating a lot, which was great since Torrey knew that they had been having difficulty getting him to eat. About halfway through the meal Torrey's muggle phone went off and he quickly excused himself from the table, "Hello?"

_"Torrey, You're gonna need to come in sweetie. Somethign bad happened." _Came Tonks' voice.

"What sort of something bad."

_"Your patient Johnson, the one we had in custody. He hung himself, the tried to revive him but it was too late"_

"Shit!"

Tonks sighed, _"Yeah, I'm really sorry... I wasn't on call but Moody's giving the guys that were hell."_

Torrey nodded, "Good, they should have kept a closer eye. I'll be there now." He hung up and headed back into the kitchen, "I have to go I'm afraid, crisis at work. I'll see you next week okay?" He smiled at Harry who nodded. They all watched as Torrey left the house quickly, Harry pouted, "He's cool. He actually knows what he's talking about when it comes to Lord of the rings."

"What's Lord of the Rings?" Sirius asked. Harry groaned and dropped his head onto the table, narrowly missing his plate.

_**~*~*~*~*~HP~HP~*~*~*~*~**_

"I'm going out." Severus said, poking his head around the living room door.

"Again?" Remus asked, looking disapproving, Severus had been out drinking every night this week, returning in the early hours of each morning.

"Yes again." Severus snapped, walking away so that he could leave the grounds and apparate.

"Something's up with him." Remus frowned.

"Mayeb it's havign us here... He's used to living alone and suddenly he has to share with two grown men and an eleven year old." Sirius pointed out.

"He's the one who offered us his house..." Remus said, "I dunno... Maybe it's just all the stress of Voldemort being back."

"Probably." Sirius murmured, warpping his arms around Remus, "I mean... It is a pretty stressful thing."

Remus nodded, "Guess we just have to be here for him."

"No matter what." Sirius agreed.

_**~*~*~*~*~HP~HP~*~*~*~*~**_

* * *

**_Sorry it's short, I promise the next one will be longer_**

**_ :)_**


	13. Back to normal?

**_~*~*~*~*~*~_**

**Back to normal?**

**_~*~*~*~*~*~  
_**

Harry had been eleven for two weeks when Sirius went up to his room to say goodnight. Harry was sat crossed legged on the bed staring out of the window, "Hey little dude, time for bed." Sirius smiled, Harry ignored him, "Harry. Bedtime, go and brush your teeth please." Sirius said, letting his voice get slightly sterner this time.

"I saw an article in one of the magazine's in the library." Harry whispered. "It said that a very high percentage of rapists who aren't put in prison go on to rape again."

Sirius sat down on the bed next to his godson and placed his hand on Harry's shoulder, "We wont let him hurt you again." He promised.

"I know that. But he's going to hurt somebody else isn't he? So I have to testify... to make sure he can't hurt anyone else." The boy said quietly.

"Well..." Sirius sighed, "I don't know, Maybe being arrested has scared him enough that he wont do it to anyone else. He does deserve to be locked up though, he should be locked up. But I really don't want you to push yourself into this, it's not... It -" Sirius let out a long sigh.

"I want to do it, I can do it." Harry said, sounding as if he was trying to persuade himself as much as Sirius, "It's nearly time for me to go back to my big size anyway so..."

Sirius bit at his lip, "Okay, I'll call Nymphadora tomorrow. But for now you need to sleep, bed, come on!" Harry climbed off the bed and headed into the bathroom, changing into his pyjamas and washing his face, Sirius hugged him when he re-emerged. "You brushed your teeth?"

"Yup." Harry lied, Sirius ruffled his godsons hair and pushed him in the direction of the bed.

"You need anything to help you sleep?" Sirius asked as he switched the small bed lamp on and the room light off. Harry shook his head and climbed under the covers, Sirius smiled as Harry hugged one of his pillows, apparently it was the only way the boy could sleep. "Good night."

"Night Siri." Harry mumbled, already half asleep, Sirius gave a small smile before leaving the room.

_**~*~*~*~*~HP~HP~*~*~*~*~**_

"So he wants to testify?" Remus asked, frowning at Sirius over his mug of tea, Sirius nodded.

Severus cleared his throat slightly, drawing their attention to him, "Perhaps he needs to, to help him let go a bit more. Knowing that Vernon's locked up might make it easier for Harry to move on with his life."

"Or it could break him completely." Sirius muttered.

"We should call Torrey, he'll be able to asses if Harry is mentally able to do this." Remus said. Sirius nodded and headed off to use the two way mirror Torrey had given them to contact him if necessary. He came back into the room a few minutes later and sat down on the sofa, curling up next to Remus. The floo went off ten minutes later and Torrey walked out, going to sit in the armchair, "What's up?" He asked, Sirius explained the situation and when he had finished Torrey let out a long sigh and bit at his lip. "Well I'll have to talk to Harry and see how he really is coping, but if he's certain about going on with this then I can find ways to help make sure it doesn't affect him too much. Dora will know what questions Harry will be asked so I can go over it with him before hand. Because of the seriousness of the case, and because of Harry's age he wont be made to give evidence in the court room in front of Vernon. He will be in a private room and only have Madame Bones there, maybe Dora too, and me if needed." Torrey said slowly, he sighed again, "Wow... I mean, this is such a turn around. Last time I spoke to him he was still claiming it was his fault and Vernon did nothing wrong." Torrey let out a deep breathe, "Still... This could be what he needs. Help him move on." Severus nodded his agreement to that. Torrey sighed as his phone rang, "Excuse me a moment." He muttered before standing up and glancing at the caller display, Dora... "Hey, I was just thinking about you."

_"Oh?"_

"I'm at your cousin's place, the little one's decided to testify.

_"Shit..."_

"Yeah, so you want to come over and talk about it or are you calling for some important reason."

_"Oh, just to bitch about my boss."_

"You can do that here."

_"Sweet, see you in five."_

"See ya." Torrey disconnected the call and turned to Sirius, "Dora will be here in a minute, she'll know the details of what the case will be like."

**_~*~*~*~*~HP~HP~*~*~*~*~_**

An hour later Sirius felt a lot better about letting Harry testify, the fact that the boy wouldn't have to see Vernon helped. "What if he can't cope? What if he starts to breakdown in the interview room?" Remus asked.

"Then they'll stop the interview and give him some time to get his head together. I know it sounds bad but him breaking down might actually help convince the jury." Tonks said quietly.

They were all quiet for a bit before Torrey said, "Right, well I'll talk to Harry, make sure he's serious about this. Dora can arrange the date of the trial, and we will make sure Harry is prepared in time."

"Ah."

"What?" Torrey asked, frowning at Tonks.

Tonks winced, "I... Well... You know how I wanted to bitch about my boss? It may have been because he suspended me..." Sirius raised an eyebrow at his cousin.

Torrey sighed, "What did you do this time?"

"Johnson was being a pain."

"Dora! You can't punch suspects!" Torrey snapped, "God! How many times?!"

Tonks flushed slightly, "He was being a tool. Kept saying he wanted to sleep with me because I can change my appearance at will and thus he could basically think he was sleeping with anyone. I am so sick of being everyone's fantasy sex toy!" Tonks scowled and Sirius sighed, he'd never thought about how tough she must have had it, being a metamorphagus can't have been easy.

"Not everyone is in it for sex." Torrey said gently.

"Right... like your precious Kelly?" Tonks smirked.

"She's called Karly."

"No... She's really not."

"Oh... Really? Shit..." Torrey wrinkled his nose and Tonks rolled her eyes.

"Anyway." The aurour said, "I'll make sure Kingsley sets the trial date so that Harry has enough time to prepare."

Sirius nodded, "Thank you." He smiled.

"No problem, I should get going now, promised Mum I'd pop by tomorrow morning." Tonks said, rolling her eyes.

Sirius nodded again, "Say hello to her from me."

Tonks nodded, "Will do." She smiled, standing up.

Torrey did the same, "I should get going too, I'll be back tomorrow to speak to Harry." And with that they both left, leaving Sirius, Remus and Severus alone.

**_~*~*~*~*~HP~HP~*~*~*~*~_**

* * *

_**I'm sorry for the delay, real life has rather taken over.**_


	14. Trial

_**.~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~.**_

**Trial.**

_**.~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~.  
**_

"It's going to be weird having him back to his normal size." Remus said as he watched Harry and Sirius race about the garden on their broomsticks.

"Yeah." Severus murmured, although he was kind of glad Harry was returning to his normal size, they both looked up as Torrey came outside, having just flooed over. "Is it time?" Severus asked.

Torrey nodded, "Let him play a bit... He looks happy." He murmured.

Severus frowned slightly, "Is that Dora's tee-shirt?"

"Umm... I... Yeah... We... I just stayed over, we watched films." Torrey mumbled.

"Right." Remus said, drawing the word out and making it obvious he didn't believe the younger man, "Might want to make sure Sirius doesn't find out about your film watching, he's rather protective of her." He added with a smirk, "Want a drink? And a spare, less obvious, shirt?"

"Please." Torrey said in one breathe, glancing up at Sirius who was still flying about, oblivious to the man's presence. Severus rolled his eyes and he, Remus and Torrey headed inside the house, Remus got Torrey a clean shirt and turned the kettle on, "So how long's the... the umm... 'Film watching' going?" Remus asked with a smirk.

Torrey groaned, "Don't okay!" He said, "It's complicated... I thought I could escape that here! You know, what with being the proffessional."

Severus snorted, "Being Harry's healer will only make Remus and Sirius try to accept you into the family even more... Although Sirius may regret that thought when he finds out about you and Dora."

"Technically I'm not meant to become friends with the family of a patient." Torrey said, "It's considered unethical or something odd like that."

"Screw the rules." Remus muttered, rather uncharacteristically, making Torrey and Severus laugh. They all looked up as the back door opened and Harry and Sirius walked in, "Oh, you're already here." Sirius smiled at Torrey before frowning, "Is that Rem's shirt?"

"He spilt tea on his." Severus lied swiftly.

"Do you have the potion?" Harry asked Torrey who nodded and pulled it out of his pocket, Harry took it off him, "I'll go take it upstairs and get changed." he said quietly.

Sirius nodded, "If you're not down in five minutes we'll come looking though." He warned, still a little uneasy about the potion, Harry rolled his eyes and left the room, heading up the stairs.

Harry came downstairs five minutes later, back to his bigger self, he went straight to the fridge and pulled out a yogurt before grabbing a spoon, "Hungry?" Torrey asked, "'Cause that's a common side effect."

"Thanks for mentioning it." The teenager muttered, eating the yogurt at a ridiculous speed before making himself a sandwich.

"How are you feeling?" Torrey asked gently.

"Hungry, I thought we'd established that."

Sirius snorted, "I think he's back to normal." He said making Harry pout.

"You still want to testify?" Torrey asked quietly as Harry bit into his sandwich,

The teenager frowned as he chewed his food, then, finally, he swallowed and nodded, "Yeah, Yeah I do." He said quietly before putting his sandwich down.

Torrey nodded, "Okay, I'll check if Kingsley's set a date and get Dora to come and talk to you about what sort of questions you'll be asked. But right now I'd like you talk to you, how about we go into the living room?"

"Can I take my sandwich?"

"Of course." Torrey smiled, Harry nodded and stood up, grabbing a bottle of water from the fridge before picking up his plate and following Torrey into the living room. Sirius watched them go and gave a small sigh, "I'm really worried that testifying could just damage him mentally." He muttered, managing a small smile when Remus wrapped an arm around him.

Severus nodded, "It could, but then again it could help. We just have to be prepared for whatever." He said, Remus and Sirius nodded their agreement.

_**.~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~.**_

Sirius paced the hallway, it was too soon for this, they weren't ready, Harry wasn't ready. He was going to have a breakdown in that room and it would all be Sirius' fault... "It'll be fine." Remus said from where he was sat. As if to prove his point the door to the testifying room opened and Harry and Torrey walked out. "All done." Torrey said, "Do you want to come to the canteen whilst they decide the result?" He asked Harry who gave a half shrug, Torrey smiled and walked down the corridor, Harry followed him and, after a moments pause, so did Sirius and Remus. Once in the canteen Torrey and Harry sat down at one of the tables and had a brief, quite discussion, then Torrey stood up and headed over to the counter, Remus and Sirius sat down next to Harry. "You okay?" Remus asked gently. Harry shrugged as Torrey walked back over and put down a tray with four mugs on it, he handed Harry one of the mugs along with a plate with a muffin on it. Then he handed out the other mugs to Remus and Sirius and put the tray down, Harry wrapped his hands around his mug, staring off into space. "I figured you'd preffer hot chocolate to tea." Torrey said.

"Hmm... Thanks." Harry mumbled.

"You did really well in there." Torrey added, "Well done." Harry gave another shrug and continued to look away, putting his mug down and starting to play with the muffin, pulling it to pieces. "How are you feeling?" Torrey asked.

Harry gave a half shrug, "Glad that it's over but... Kinda scared he'll get off." He mumbled.

"It'll be fine." Sirius said, trying to be reassuring, Harry simply shrugged again and continued to mess around with the muffin, occasionally nibbling at the blueberries. Finally he shoved his plate away and stood up, going over to the window, Sirius made to follow him but Torrey placed his hand on the man's arm, "Give him space." He murmured quietly.

"What time do we need to go back?" Remus asked.

"Probably now." Torrey replied, watching as Harry opened the window, breathing in the fresh air. "I'll just go talk to him quickly." He added, heading over towards Harry, Sirius sighed, understanding why Torrey could talk to the boy when he shouldn't but still not liking it. A few minutes later Harry and Torrey walked back over and picked up Torrey's jacket, "Come on then." Torrey said, placing his hand on Harry's shoulder. Harry left the canteen with Torrey and Remus and Sirius exchanged looks before following, Tonks was waiting for them outside the court room. "They done?" Torrey asked.

"Yeah... Ten years." Tonks replied, giving the amount of time Vernon would be in prison for, "They'll retcon him and transfer him to a muggle prison." She added, telling Harry.

The boy gave the tiniest of nods before grabbing Torrey's hand, "I wanna go home." He whispered, "Please..."

"Of course." Torrey said, leading him to the floo and heading back to Severus' house.

* * *

_** Please leave a review if you have time. **_

_**xx  
**_


	15. Anger

_**.~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~.**_

_**Anger.**_

_**.~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~.  
**_

When Sirius and Remus got back into the living room at Severus' house, Harry was nowhere to be seen. "He went to take a shower." Torrey explained.

"Right." Sirius nodded.

"This is better now right?" Severus asked, "It'll help Harry having Vernon locked away?"

"It should do in the long run but it might set him back a little right now, giving evidence wont have been easy for him. Once he's done with his shower I would like to take an hour or so and just talk him through everything."

"Of course." Sirius said.

"Would you like a cup of tea?" Remus asked Torrey who nodded and so Severus and Remus headed into the kitchen to make it.

Torrey let out a deep breathe, "I want to talk to you later too." He told Sirius, "Today can't have been easy for you either, I want to make sure you're keeping a tap on that temper." Sirius nodded, his cheeks flushed and Torrey gave him a warm smile, "You've done really well in a short space of time." He assured the man.

Remus walked back in with a mug of tea and handed it to Torrey, "Yours is in the kitchen." He told Sirius, "Umm the water heater's gone off which means Harry's done in the shower." He added.

"Alright, I'll head up. I'll probably be a few hours…"

"I'll save you some dinner, both of you." Remus smiled.

"Ta." Torrey smiled, heading up the stairs.

Remus moved over to Sirius and wrapped his arm around the man, frowning as Sirius jerked away, "I'm..." Sirius sighed, "I'm a little stressed. I'm going to take a bath." He mumbled, moving away, off to the bathroom. Remus gave a small sigh but also a smile, knowing that Sirius didn't trust himself right now and was protecting Remus. Severus came out of the kitchen, holding his and Remus' mugs of tea. "Thanks." Remus said gently, sitting down.

Severus sat next to him, "It'll get better now." He murmured.

"Hmm…" Was all Remus replied with and they sat there silently.

_**.~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~.**_

Remus looked up and smiled as Sirius walked up behind him and wrapped his arms around the werewolf. "Feeling better?"

"Yeah… Thanks." Sirius murmured, he'd had his bath and then a quick talk with Torrey which had made him feel a lot more comfortable, "Harry's having a sleep and Torrey's using the floo. Sev's doing some potion stuff I think." He added, resting his head on Remus' shoulder.

"Dinner'll be done in about fifteen minutes." Remus said, turning to kiss Sirius gently, "I thought Torrey'd be longer with Harry." He said after a moment.

Sirius nodded, "I think Harry was shattered, poor kid." He said quietly, "This morning must have taken a lot of energy."

"And courage." Remus added, "James and Lily would have been so proud of him."

"You need to tell him that, repeatedly." Torrey said from the doorway, moving into the kitchen.

Sirius nodded, "I will… We will."

"Should we wake Harry for dinner?" Remus asked Torrey, "Or do we let him sleep?"

"Wake him like you normally would. He's going to try and hide away from everyone and you need to stop that as soon as it starts really, let him know you are here and you're always going to be no matter what. I also think it might be a good idea to invite Weasley and Granger over. Harry doesn't agree though so I wont push it yet." The Doctor said.

"Okay." Remus said quietly, struggling to take it all in.

"You okay?" Torrey asked gently.

Remus shrugged, "It's just so… So… Shit!" He burst out and Sirius' eyebrows rose, Remus didn't tend to swear like that.

"It was never going to be easy, for any of you…" Torrey said, "But you can come through this, as a family." He added softly.

"Thanks." Sirius murmured, "Not sure how we'd be coping if you weren't here…"

Torrey gave an awkward chuckle, "Right, well… I just have to pop outside and make a phone call." He said, his cheeks flushed slightly as he slid out of the back door.

Sirius watched him go with a small frown, "Sometimes he seems so young… And sometimes he seems so old…" He said quietly.

"That's because he's an idiot." Severus muttered as he waked into the room and got himself a glass of water.

Remus rolled his eyes, "Why? Because he dares ask if you're okay?" He snorted, earning himself a dark look off Severus. "Would you go and wake Harry up?" Remus asked, ignoring Severus' scowl.

"But… Shouldn't one of you do it?" Severus asked, his eyes wide.

Remus frowned at him, "I'm finishing the cooking and Sirius appears to have drifted off." He said, looking over at his husband who was staring blankly out of the window.

"Fine." Severus grunted, stalking out of the room.

"Something is really bugging him…" Remus muttered, frowning as he watched the man before sighing as he moved over to Sirius and shook his shoulder gently, "You still with us?"

Sirius blinked and looked up, "Yeah… Yeah." He muttered.

Remus pressed a soft kiss to Sirius' neck, "Love you." He whispered.

Sirius turned around and kissed him, "It'll be okay, right?"

"Right." Remus agreed.

Sirius turned to look back out of the window and frowned, "Since when does he smoke?" He asked and Remus peered out of the window, spotting Torrey stood outside chatting on his phone and smoking a muggle cigarette.

"Siri babes, he's an adult and therefore responsible for his own choices. Plus he's like, Harry's therapist… I don't think telling him off for smoking will have any effect." Remus murmured with a chuckle.

"Hmm… It's funny, he's really helping me and when we're… we're talking about me and my temper he seems old, like someone I can look up to…" Sirius muttered, his cheeks flushed, discussing his temper wasn't something he liked doing. "And then sometimes he seems so young…"

"He is young." Remus pointed out, "I think he's only twenty three, maybe twenty four, same as Dora."

Sirius gave a small snort, "I was already in Azkaban at that age…" He mumbled and Remus tightened his grip on the man, pressing a kiss to his neck.

**_.~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~._**

Severus looked down at the sleeping form of Harry Potter and sighed, "Harry, time to wake up." He said quietly, which unsurprisingly didn't work. "Harry." He said a bit louder, shaking the boys shoulder. Harry sat up quickly, his hand instantly grabbing his wand, "It's me!" Severus said quickly.

"Severus?" Harry frowned, moving slightly, "What do you want?"

"Umm well… Remus wanted me to wake you up."

"Why?" Harry asked moodily, lying back down and turning over.

Severus bit at his lip, "Dinner I think…"

"Not hungry." Harry snapped, pulling his duvet over his head.

"Come on Harry…" Severus murmured, "Remus really wants you down there, they're worried about you." He added, getting a grunt in reply. "Harry…" Severus tried again, sitting on the edge of the bed and putting his hand on Harry's shoulder.

Harry pulled the duvet off his head, "I'm tired okay! I don't want dinner, I don' want to talk, I don't want to watch people worry about me… I'm just… I'm just tired and… Argh!" He growled.

Severus nodded, "Of course you are, it's been a long day. This is why you need to get up now, come downstairs and have dinner. Spend some time with the people who love you." He said, nearly choking on the last words. "Come on." He added.

"Don' want too." Harry mumbled, burrowing back under the duvet.

Severus pulled it off him, "Up." He said, his voice sounding almost stern and then he winced, not wanting Harry to be scared off him but all the teenager did was scowl and move off the bed,

"Fine!" He snapped, stalking off to the bathroom and Severus gave a small smile. Ten minutes later Harry emerged from the bathroom having had another shower, Severus didn't comment on this, something Harry was thankful for, "I'm really not hungry." The teenager muttered as they headed downstairs.

"Just eat what you can." Severus replied.

"Sorry for… For being so… Well, you know. I'm just so tired and… Angry. I dunno why…"

Severus frowned slightly, storing that information away, "I'm sure that's normal…" He soothed.

Harry snorted, "None of this is normal." He muttered as he walked into the kitchen. He looked around before looking out of the window and moving off into the garden, Sirius sighed and picked up his mug of tea, watching as Harry walked over to Torrey who gave him a grin. "How come you can smoke but I can't?" Harry asked, kicking at the grass and ignoring the fact that Torrey was on the phone.

Torrey chuckled, "Would it help you?" He asked the teenager before laughing down the phone, "Yeah that's Harry. Dora says hi." He added to the teenager.

"It might help." Harry grumbled, ignoring what Torrey had said.

"Then go for it." Torrey said, holding out his cigarette before chuckling again, "Trust me." He said down the phone.

Harry scowled, "You're just waiting for me to choke." He said moodily.

Torrey rolled his eyes, "Look babes, I gotta go. Hey, why don't you come over? I'm sure Sirius and Remus wants to see you in a nicer situation than earlier." He said to Tonks before laughing, "Yeah see ya." Then he hung up and looked at Harry who was still scowling. "So kid…"

"You only wanted me to take the cigarette so I'd choke and be put off smoking." Harry said again.

"Thought you'd already been through that once." Torrey replied easily, "My priority is your mind, if you wanted to take up smoking because it would help you then go for it. We'd just end up dealing with the addiction and health problems later on though."

Harry pulled a face, "Whatever."

Torrey nodded, "Angry?" He asked, Harry scowled even more but gave a small nod, "That's okay." Torrey replied. "What your Uncle did to you was wrong Harry, but it's taken you until today to actually acknowledge that. Now you're angry at the world for not helping, for letting it happen."

"It's not fucking fair." Harry muttered.

"No, it's not but he has been put away now. Which doesn't change what happens but…"

"Justice." Harry said quietly.

"Yeah." Torrey nodded, stubbing his cigarette out and hugging Harry. "It's okay to feel angry Harry, just let it out, don't bottle it up. I'll warn your family that they should expect it…" He added with a small grin. "Come on, let's go and eat."

**_.~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~._**


	16. Family and friends

_**.~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~.**_

_**Family and friends...**_

_**.~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~.  
**_

Harry woke up and sighed, Ron and Hermione were coming over today, something Torrey had only just managed to persuade him to agree to yesterday. He looked up as there was a knock on the door, "What?" Harry growled, unable to help himself, he winced slightly as he saw the sad look on Sirius' face as the man opened the door.

"I was just seeing if you were awake…" The man murmured.

"Well obviously I am." Harry spat and Sirius sighed.

"Well umm… Remus is making pancakes if you're hungry." He said gently before leaving the room, closing the door softly behind himself. Harry stared across the room and wrapped his arms around his legs, wondering why he was being such a bastard to the people who cared, he sniffed as a tear fell down his cheek, now Sirius would be mad at him and make him leave… Harry's hands shook as he moved off the bed and grabbed some, possibly clean but probably not, clothes off his bedroom floor. He pulled them on, grabbing a clean pair of pants from his drawers first, and then moved out of the room, heading straight to the kitchen. Remus was stood by the stove, making pancakes and Sirius was sat by the table. Severus was no where in sight and, since he didn't usually sleep past seven, was probably in his potions lab. "Morning." Remus smiled, Sirius stayed quiet, managing a weak smile.

"Morning." Harry mumbled, aware he should apologise to his godfather but not being able to find the words.

"Pancake?" Remus asked and Harry gave a small nod, mumbling what could have been a thanks. "Ron and Hermione will be here in about an hour." Remus said gently, handing Harry a plate with a pancake on it.

"Oh joy." Harry muttered, smirking to himself as he noticed Sirius' jaw clench.

"Why don't you take a shower after breakfast?" Remus offered.

"You trying to say I smell?" Harry spat.

"No, of course not. I just thought it might make you feel better that's all…" Remus said, tearing his gaze away from the stain on Harry's tee-shirt.

Harry smirked slightly, he knew how much Remus wanted to go into his room and get all the clean clothes to wash but also knew that the man didn't want to disturb Harry's privacy. "Yeah well. It wont, so get lost." Harry snapped.

Remus sighed and Sirius scowled, "Don't talk to Remus like that!" He growled.

Harry's eyes narrowed, "Why? Is it only you who's allowed to? Are going to start beating me up too?" He hissed before sweeping his plate, complete with pancake onto the floor and stalking out of the room.

Sirius stared at the broken plate on the floor before slowly looking at Remus who was watching him carefully. "I… He… Harry…" Sirius stuttered out.

"I don't know how he…" Remus trailed off, "I didn't tell him Siri."

"I… I'm gonna go floo someone before Harry's friends get here." Sirius mumbled, moving out of the kitchen. Remus sighed, looking around at the remnants of what was supposed to be a happy family breakfast.

_**.~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~.**_

Harry found himself at the door to Severus' potions lab and, slowly raised his hand to knock, "Come in." Severus called out. Harry pushed open the door and went down the steps, "Harry! What can I do for you?" Severus asked.

"I… I…" Harry started and then began to sob uncontrollably.

Severus stared at him for a second before moving forward slightly, "Umm… What's up?" He offered but Harry just cried louder. Severus moved even closer and put his hand on Harry's shoulder, jumping slightly as the boy flung his arms around him.

"I was horrible to Remus and Sirius and they're gonna make me leave!" Harry sobbed.

"Oh… Oh. No, they wouldn't do that Harry. They love you." Severus soothed.

"I was mean to Remus and then when Sirius told me off I asked if he was going to hit me!" Harry choked out, howling slightly.

Severus winced, he didn't see Sirius getting over that quickly, "It'll be okay." He murmured gently, stroking Harry's hair and pressing a kiss to the boy's head. "It'll be okay." He repeated, they stood there for a long time, Severus holding and comforting Harry until finally the teen had stopped crying.

"Sorry." He murmured, looking embarrassed as he pulled back.

Severus simply gave him a warm smile, "Would you like to help me with a potion?" He asked softly and Harry nodded. They had just started to dice the gysbumifrn roots when there was a knock on the door. "Come in." Severus called out, holding onto Harry's arm as the teenager tensed.

The door opened slowly and Torrey walked down the stairs, wearing jeans and a tee-shirt rather than his usual, more professional attire. "Hey kid." He smiled.

"Hi." Harry mumbled, turning back to the roots and beginning to dice them again.

"Never said you liked potions." Torrey commented, leaning against one of the counters and sending Severus a grin. Harry gave a small shrug and Torrey sighed, "Look…I'm here because -"

"Sirius called you." Harry interrupted.

"Yes. He wants me to talk to you about what you said this morning…"

"I just got angry…" Harry whispered, looking devastated and Severus bit at his lip.

Torrey nodded, "I know. That's not what Sirius is upset about… It's what you said, how you know about him… Losing his temper." Torrey said delicately, watching as Harry finished dicing the roots and glanced at Severus who nodded towards the cauldron.

"Oh, that." Harry mumbled as he tipped the roots in.

"Sirius is worried that you may view him differently now, that you might be… scared of him." Torrey said.

Harry scratched at his head as Severus handed him a ladle, "Thirty times clockwise." The spy murmured.

"I've known about Sirius' temper for a while… Yeah it bugs me a bit but… Well he hasn't hurt me personally, only Remus and Remus chooses to forgive him so…" Harry trailed off and shrugged, starting to turn the potion.

"But -"

"Shh! I need to count!" Harry hissed and Torrey rolled his eyes at Severus who chuckled gently. The two men watched as Harry slowly turned the potion mumbling numbers under his breathe.

Severus moved closer to Torrey, "He does seem okay with it, his main issue this morning was that he was worried Remus and Sirius would hate him." The man murmured quietly.

Torrey nodded, watching as Harry put the ladle down, "Now what?" The boy asked Snape.

"Now we put the fire out and leave it to cool." Severus said, flicking his wand and causing the flames under the cauldron to go out.

Torrey moved forwards "Harry, Remus and Sirius aren't angry… They understand -"

"Then why aren't they here! Why aren't they here?" Harry interrupted, his voice breaking slightly.

"Because I was scared you'd hate _me_." Sirius whispered from the top of the stairs.

Harry looked up at his godfather, "Don't be stupid Sirius." He said, rolling his eyes slightly as Sirius walked down the steps, Harry looked away, "I kinda didn't get it before but I do now… The anger for no real reason thing."

Sirius nodded slowly, "I understand too, you snapping this morning…"

"I am sorry… I don't even mean to I just… You know?"

"Yeah, yeah I do." Sirius soothed, hugging Harry tightly. "And Remus gets it too." He added.

"I'm just gonna…" Severus trailed off and motioned to the door, practically leaping up the steps.

Torrey laughed and followed the man up, towards the kitchen. "Do you just like, totally avoid all emotions?" He asked with a grin, earning himself a scowl.

"Torrey, be nice." Remus said from where he was sat by the table and Torrey flushed slightly which was unlike him.

"Was Harry going to tell Granger and Weasley everything?" Severus asked, glancing at the clock, the two would be here soon.

Torrey shook his head, "He doesn't want to, which is fine. I'm not going to push."

"Wont they notice he's… Different?" Remus asked.

"Well… What you lot are forgetting is that Harry went through a lot last year too. Witnessing someone die and the resurrection of the dark lord… People will tend to assume that's why he's… Unhappy." Torrey said.

Severus nodded, "Figures." He muttered, looking up as Harry and Sirius walked in.

"How about we have a cup of tea before Ron and Hermione get here?" Sirius offered, moving towards the kettle, Harry grinned and nodded.

**_.~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~._**

"Are you okay? You seem really… Off." Ron said, looking at Harry's suspiciously before wincing as Hermione kicked him.

"Harry didn't exactly have the greatest time last year!" She hissed, "Ignore him Harry." She added.

"I'm just worried about you!" Ron defended, watching Harry.

Harry sighed, "I just… Like 'Mione said, last year wasn't exactly fun… And I didn't have the best summer till Sirius picked me up." He mumbled.

"Did your Uncle put bars on your windows again?" Hermione asked in horror.

"Did he hit you?" Ron chipped in.

Harry looked away, "I don't want to talk about it." He whispered and, whilst Ron opened his mouth to argue, Hermione nodded and jabbed Ron in the ribs.

"We're here if you change your mind." She murmured, placing her hand on Harry's arm.

"Thanks…" Harry mumbled before clearing his throat, "So, what have you two been up to? Heard you were living in Sirius' old house with the rest of the Order?"

Ron's eyes widened, "You know about the Order? Oh thank Merlin! Mum said we weren't to tell you _anything_." He said.

"Sirius told me what the Order is and the basics of what they do but… He can't tell me anymore than that." Harry said moodily.

Hermione nodded, "That's all we're allowed to know too. Fred and George have been inventing things to find out more but… Nothing so far. And we keep asking questions, sometimes Bill or Charlie let something slip but usually it's useless information."

Harry rolled his eyes, "Guess we're just too young to know the truth." He muttered with a snort.

Ron laughed, "That is exactly what my mum says!" He said making Harry and Hermione laugh.

"So…" Hermione started, raising her eyebrows, "What's it like living with Sirius and Proffessor Lupin."

"More importantly, what's it like living with Snape?" Ron cut in.

**_.~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~._**


	17. Getting to know you

_**.~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~.**_

**Getting to know you.**

_**.~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~.  
**_

"I don't want to go back to school." Harry muttered, scowling out of the window.

Torrey gave a small nod, "Why?" He asked gently, watching as Harry stood up and moved away.

"'Cause." Harry mumbled.

Torrey gave a small frown but didn't push it, he'd grown to learn that Harry would talk in his own time, "Had a shower since I last saw you?" He asked instead, Harry frowned but gave a small shake of his head, "Why not?" Torrey asked, this was the part of Harry's thought process that really confused him, the fact that the teenager was refusing to wash, both himself and his clothes, and refusing to clear up his room. To be quite honest Harry was starting to stink and it was rather upsetting the others in the house, particularly Remus whose sense of smell was rather strong at this time of month. Every time someone tried to broach the subject with Harry the boy would stomp off in a tantrum though, Torrey knew that Sirius was close to casting a cleaning charm on the boy but didn't want to upset him or damage the bond they had managed to form.

"Don't want to." Harry grumbled in reply to Torrey's question.

"You know you can wear swimming trunks in the bath, or even a wetsuit if it's being naked that's bothering you."

"That's not it." Harry spat.

Torrey frowned ever so slightly more, "Then what? Used to be you were having up to seven showers a day." Harry gave a small shrug and Torrey watched him closely, "You know, smelling gross isn't going to put people off you sexually. Some people are even drawn to the scent of their partners sweat." He said carefully, nodding to himself as Harry's cheeks turned pink. "Right, that's it. Look Harry, I thought we'd agreed that what Vernon did to you was wrong. He wasn't right in the head and he would have raped you regardless of how many stains were on your tee-shirt. I mean, come on Har, you were bleeding when he raped you and that didn't stop him…" Torrey said softly, wincing inwardly as he saw how much Harry was shaking. "You need to understand that he can't hurt you again." Torrey added. Harry gave a sniff and continued to scowl out of the window, "Go take a shower, or a bath, relax a little, play some music, read a book…"

"In the shower?" Harry managed to chip in, his voice shaking a tad too much for the words to sound the usual, casual way.

Torrey chuckled, "Maybe not in the shower." He smiled, "Go on, you go do that now, maybe chuck some clothes in the wash too. I'll stick around, we can talk later about anything else you want to." Torrey promised.

Harry gave a small nod, "Okay." He murmured, moving away and out of the room, heading upstairs.

Torrey ran his hand over his face and stared into the fireplace, his eyebrows furrowed, he looked up as Sirius looked around the door, "Done already?" The animagus asked, sounding confused.

"No, he's taking a shower, or bath." Torrey said, noting Sirius' confusion he laughed gently, "I think he'll be over the grunge stage soon." The man said.

Sirius gave a small sigh of relief, "Thanks."

Torrey shrugged, "It's what I'm here for." He murmured, sighing slightly, "I'm just going to pop into the garden and make a phone call." He said quietly.

"Sure." Sirius smiled, watching as Torrey moved outside, closing the back door behind him and dialing a number into his cell as he lit up a cigarette.

"Everything okay?" Remus asked, moving into the room and placing his hand on Sirius' shoulder. "Torrey seems stressed out."

Sirius gave a small shrug, "I dunno, not really our place to ask, and we probably wouldn't get an answer if we did." He murmured, "Harry's having a wash though, that's good right?"

"That's great." Remus smiled in reply.

_**.~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~.**_

Sirius looked up as the door opened and Severus walked in, giving them a tight smile and sitting down in the armchair. "Have you seen Harry?" Torrey asked from his spot by the window.

"He was throwing out some bags of rubbish." Severus replied, "I assume he'll be in in a moment."

Torrey nodding distractedly, jumping as the floo went off and Tonks' face appeared, "Torrey there? Pick up your phone babes." She said upon spotting the man, "I did what you asked, come by at six, I'll give you everything then." Torrey nodded and Tonks nodded back before smiling at Sirius. "Say hi to the kid for me, oh and I'll drop by sometime in the week to say hi properly. Mum's arranging some sort of get together." She said with a grin before, "Bye then." And vanishing.

"What was that about?" Sirius asked Torrey.

"Work." Was all the man replied with before smiling as Harry walked in, he was wearing clean clothes and his hair was still slightly damp from his bath. "Alright?" Torrey asked and was rewarded with a small smile and nod, "Right, want to talk about school?"

"Not really."

Torrey gave a small nod, "Okay, anything else? Only I have to be back at the office in ten for a meeting."

"I'm good." Harry murmured.

Torrey stood up, "You can call me or floo me at any time, day or night." He reminded the boy before saying his goodbye's and flooing away.

Sirius cleared his throat, "So what do you want to do today?" He asked Harry.

Harry gave a small shrug, "Umm… Can we go for a walk?" He asked, "Somewhere quiet… Just us?" He asked Sirius before flushing and glancing at Remus who simply gave him a warm, understanding, smile.

Sirius also glanced at Remus before looking back at Harry and nodding, "Sure, sounds fantastic, I know just the place."

"I'll get my jacket." Harry said, leaving the room and running upstairs.

"You okay?" Sirius asked Remus softly.

Remus nodded, "Yeah, it's good he wants to spend some time with you Siri, and you guys can get to know each other a bit more. I'm fine; I have plenty to keep myself occupied with." He promised, meaning every word.

Sirius nodded and pulled on his coat, smiling as Harry bounded back into the room, "We'll see you later." Sirius promised, pressing a kiss to Remus' lips before smiling at Severus and leading Harry from the house.

"So where are we going?" Harry asked as they left the house and headed down a small lane.

"Are you okay with side-along apparition?" Sirius asked.

Harry shrugged, "Dunno, never done it. It can't be as annoying as a portkey." He muttered with a small shudder.

"It can be a little scary and make you feel dizzy, but the feelings will pass." Sirius promised, holding out his hand and smiling when Harry took it, his face showing trust. Harry winced as he suddenly felt like he was being pulled through a long thin pipe, almost like Augustus Gloop from Charlie and the Chocolate Factory, he figured. As soon as it had started it had finished and Harry opened his eyes to see find himself surrounded by trees. "Alright Kid?" Sirius asked worriedly.

Harry looked up at his godfather and gave a small nod, "I'm fine." He said, "Where are we?"

"Lake district. This is where your grandfather used to bring your dad for a few weeks every holiday after your grandma died. He'd rent a cottage and they'd hang out, just the two of them… When I got kicked out, or rather left, my family home your grandfather took me in. He bought me here too in the holidays, with him and James. I thought you might like to see somewhere your dad used to come, and Godric's Hollow's not exactly… nice." Sirius said.

"It's a lovely place." Harry said quietly, looking away from Sirius and trying not to show just how emotional he was right now.

Sirius smiled and took his godson's arm, "Come on." He said and they began to walk.

After a while Harry cleared his throat, "I umm… I need some more clothes." He said quietly, shoving his hands into his pockets, "I kinda wrecked some of them and most of them don't fit… I've got the money though!" He added quickly.

"We'll get you some new clothes." Sirius smiled. "We can pick them up at the same time as your school stuff."

Harry scowled and kicked a small rock, "I'm not going to school." He muttered.

Sirius frowned slightly but, not wanting to spoil what could be a pleasant day, he simply nodded, "Okay. Look what you said about the money… I'm going to need your Gringotts key. You live with Remus and I now, I am your guardian and therefore it is my right to provide for you. I'll give you your key back when you turn seventeen but until then I'm paying for your things."

"Sirius -"

"Don't try arguing it Harry. I want to, it's what I should be doing." Sirius said, "I'll give you an allowance, so you can buy yourself things, and obviously if there's anything you really want you come and ask, maybe we'll say yes but maybe we'll tell you to wait till your birthday or to save up your allowance."

"Like regular parents." Harry murmured.

Sirius smiled, "Right, like regular parents. I mean, obviously we'll supply all the things you need, clothes and food." He turned to look at Harry, "The money in your Gringotts account, it's a lot of money, and although I trust you, I do feel that it's too much money for a child to take care of. Learning to control money and use it wisely is all part of growing up and that's what we're trying to… You understand right?"

"I… I think so." Harry murmured.

"You've had to grow up so fast…" Sirius said quietly, "And I don't mean just with Vernon but all the stuff with Voldemort too… I was talking to Torrey earlier, we both think that having a chance to be a kid is a good thing…"

Harry frowned, "Be a kid? But I was already de-aged…" He said.

Sirius shook his head, "Sorry, bad choice of words, what I meant was to have a good chance to be a teenager. Just to be normal…"

Harry gave a small nod as they continued to walk, "Right." He said.

Sirius gave a small smile, "It'll be different for us than for normal families I suppose, we're still getting used to each other after all, and… Well you have issues because of everything that you've been through. But Torrey thinks it's good for us to be normal with you, which I agree with. But that means consequences to certain actions…"

"Like when Remus made me do the washing up?" Harry asked.

Sirius nodded, "Yeah… Yeah. It's just like, your room for example. It's been a bit of a state lately…"

"I've cleared it." Harry said quickly.

"Right, good… I don't expect you to keep it spotless; that would be a bit silly considering I can't keep my own room that tidy!" Sirius chuckled, "But I do expect a certain degree of tidiness. And if we ask you to clean it then we need it to be cleaned, no arguments."

Harry gave a small nod, a strange feeling settling in his stomach, "What… What would…"

"We'd probably deduct your allowance; maybe ground you if it was serious. It would depend obviously and… Well we'll figure it all out as we go." Sirius smiled.

"Right." Harry agreed. "I… Thank you Sirius… You guys are the best family ever and…" He trailed off as tears sprang to his eyes.

Sirius stopped and wrapped his arms around Harry, "I am so glad to have you here with us, never ever forget that. And I love you so much, you never stop surprising me… Just when I think I can't possibly get any prouder of you." The man murmured, "And they'd be proud too you know, I'm sure they are, looking down and watching you… Your parents would be so proud."

Harry sniffed and pulled away, wiping at his nose with his sleeve, "How well did you know my mum?" He asked suddenly, "Everyone always tells me about my dad and I really feel like I know who he was but… Less about her."

Sirius smiled, "Your mum… She was… Amazing, one of the best students Hogwarts has ever had, but fierce, blimey she had a temper." He chuckled, wrapping his arm around Harry again and starting to walk as he slowly told the boy everything he could about Lily Potter.

_**.~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~.**_


	18. Headquarters

_**.~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~.**_

_**Headquarters.**_

_**.~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~.  
**_

"Why is it exactly that you don't want to return to Hogwarts?" Severus asked Harry as they prepared the Wolfsbane Potion for Remus. Harry looked up at him and scowled,

"Because." He growled.

"Because what?" Severus asked gently, knowing he was pushing and that it could all go wrong but hoping that Harry trusted him enough to open up.

"Because we'd have to tell Dumbledore everything." Harry muttered.

Severus sighed, "We'll have to do that anyway, we should have already by now. Not going back to school will in fact simply make people ask more questions…" He said quietly.

"I guess." Harry mumbled, having to admit that the man had a point. "I just… I just feel safe here." He admitted softly.

"With Remus and Sirius?"

"And you." Harry hissed, sounding angry that Severus would think otherwise.

Severus allowed himself to smile slightly, "Right… Only I'm going back to Hogwarts." He reminded the boy.

Harry slumped, "Oh."

"Of course if you did choose to return we could arrange for you to floo back here as often as you liked."

"Yeah but… Everyone would know what happened! I don't want them all looking at me like I'm some… Some poor kid!" Harry snapped, throwing the diced roots into the cauldron before swearing as the potion turned completely the wrong colour.

"Needed the frogs liver first." Severus murmured kindly.

"Sorry." Harry sighed, knowing that Severus would have to start from scratch now.

Severus smiled, "It's fine." He soothed, "Now, no-one but Albus and Professor McGonagall would need to know, and Poppy Pomfrey of course as she already does know."

"They wouldn't tell?" Harry asked quietly.

"No, no they wouldn't." Severus soothed, "Come on, let's head upstairs, it's nearly time for lunch." He added, vanishing the useless potion in the cauldron, he knew that Harry was only willing to discuss this for so long and really didn't want to push the boy too far.

"'Kay." Harry mumbled, moving to grab his jumper from where he'd chucked it, "Thanks for letting me help, even though I fucked it up."

"You've done surprisingly well with the potions actually, and you only messed up because I distracted you." Severus smiled, "And I liked having you here."

Harry's face split in a giant grin, "You did? Cool. I liked being here." He said, grabbing Severus in a sudden, unexpected, hug before bounding up the stairs and out of the lab. Severus stared after him for a while, taking a deep breath and trying to get his emotions under control before following the boy.

Harry was sat on the kitchen counter, happily laughing at something Remus was saying, he looked happier than he had in weeks and that alone sent Severus' thoughts spinning off in all directions again. "- And Lily got so sick of it that she turned them both blue!" Remus finished with a chuckle, sending Harry into hysterics, "Hey Sev." Remus smiled, noticing the man.

"What are you laughing at?" Sirius asked Harry, brushing past Sev to get into the kitchen.

"You and dad being turned into Smurfs!" Harry chuckled.

Sirius frowned, "Smurfs?"

"Muggle television thing, small blue creatures." Remus explained, "I was telling him about that time Lily turned you and James blue."

Sirius looked mildly confused, he frowned at Remus questioningly before shrugging, "Right… I don't remember that." He admitted, ignoring the concerned look Remus sent him.

"Fancy setting the table?" Remus asked Harry, handing him a pile of plates.

"Sure." Harry smiled, sliding off the counter and moving into the dining room.

Severus moved further into the kitchen, "Are you okay?" He asked Sirius carefully, the man had a strange, distant, expression on his face.

Remus raised an eyebrow when Sirius didn't reply, "Siri love?" He asked softly, putting his hand on his husband's shoulder.

Sirius jumped, "Sorry. I just… Was trying to remember." He mumbled, wrapping his arms around Remus as the man pulled him close, "There's so much I forgot…" Sirius muttered, "I hate it, I hate not having as many stories to tell Harry about James."

"The healers said that it would take time for the memories to resurface." Remus soothed, "And having us here, having Harry asking questions is helping you to remember them honey. I know it's tough but you'll get there in the end."

"I know… I know." Sirius sighed, watching as Harry came back into the room and got the cutlery from the drawer, the teenager glanced up at Remus and Sirius, giving a small frown when he saw that Sirius looked sad, but he said nothing, something Sirius was grateful for. "Food'll be done soon." Sirius murmured, moving away from Remus and opening the oven door, watching the magical flames slowly cook the pie. "Could you sort out the cups please Harry?"

"But I did the plates!" Harry whined, Sirius raised a slight eyebrow and hid a smile, Harry had only just started complaining and whining when he was asked to help around the house and, whilst sure it would irritate him eventually, Sirius felt that it was quite nice for Harry to be acting like a normal teenager.

"Please." Sirius repeated and Harry pursed his lips, grabbing the glasses from the cupboard and stomping into the other room, slamming them down onto the table.

Remus rolled his eyes and ignored the teenager, "Is Torrey still coming over this afternoon?"

"Yup." Sirius nodded, "He had to rearrange for three o'clock instead of two though."

Severus snorted, "Makes a nice change." He muttered, Torrey had been rearranging Harry's sessions an awful lot lately.

"Yeah… Something's up with him…" Remus murmured, a worried from on his face.

"He's probably just busy at work." Sirius shrugged, pulling the pie from the oven and casting a quick charm to make sure it was fully cooked. "Can you take the veg through?" He asked Severus who did so. Sirius smiled and gave Remus a quick kiss before casting a charm on the pie dish so that he could pick it up and carry it through to the table. Remus got the jug of juice out of the fridge, along with two bottles of beer, and followed his husband. They all sat down to eat as Sirius dished up, Remus poured out some juice for Harry and Sirius before handing Severus one of the beer bottles and pouring his own out into a pint glass.

"How come I don't get one?" Harry asked, a small smirk on his face.

"Because you are fourteen!" Remus laughed.

Harry shrugged, "I'll be fifteen soon." He said.

"Oh crap, so you will." Sirius winced, handing Severus a plate, "We need to do some shopping." He added to Remus who nodded.

Harry frowned down at his food, "It's fine you know. I don't need a fuss… I'm used to not doing anything."

"All the more reason to!" Sirius smiled, "It's your birthday kid, we have to do something. How about a small party, with Ron and Hermione?"

"A party? I'll be fifteen Sirius." Harry rolled his eyes slightly.

Sirius frowned, "Right… Okay. Well how about we go out somewhere, muggle cinema or a Quidditch match or something."

"I… I'll think about it." Harry murmured, shoving some food in his mouth.

Sirius nodded, "Okay, just let us know." He said, "Now there's an Order meeting tonight, we all have to attend and so we thought you can come with us and hang out with Ron, Hermione and the other Weasley's."

"Sure, sounds cool." Harry said.

"Also… Well you know I told you about my parents old house, where the Order meets? Well it's in a pretty bad state and needs clearing up a bit. We thought we could head there every few days or so to help out with the cleaning. It's give you something to do at least. Plus you'd be seeing your friends a lot."

"Sure." Harry nodded.

_**.~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~.**_

"Have you thought anymore about school?" Torrey asked, sitting down on Harry's bed, he had decided that this conversation was best happening in Harry's bedroom, where the teenager felt the most comfortable.

"A bit, talked to Severus earlier…"

"Oh?"

"He… I feel safe here, with them all. But then Sev said he was going back to Hogwarts anyway and that… We have to tell Dumbledore anyway regardless of if I go back or not."

Torrey nodded, "Well personally I believe that returning to school would be beneficial." He said gently, "Returning to your life as it used to be will do you the world of good." Harry gave a half shrug, still not too sure, Torrey nodded, "Okay, well you're going to see Ron and Hermione later right? And some other people from school, maybe hanging out with them and just being a teenager will be nice, huh?"

"Yeah." Harry mumbled.

"So how are you doing? In general?" Torrey asked quietly, picking up a small teddy and playing with it.

Harry shrugged, "Alright I guess." He said, "Well not alright but… Better. Sometimes I even forget, I get so caught up in what's happening, in the stuff I'm doing… I can forget what happened, just for a bit."

"That's good. Is there a particular time this happens?"

"Umm… When I'm doing potions with Severus." Harry mumbled, his cheeks flushed slightly.

Torrey frowned slightly, "I see." He said. "Are you and Severus close?"

"He's nice to me." Harry said, "And he doesn't treat me like a kid."

"Well I'm glad you can talk to him…" Torrey started, "But…" He added cautiously, "Try to spend some more time with other people too. Your friends for example, and even Remus." Harry gave another small nod, and Torrey glanced at the clock, "Oh, it's nearly time for the Order meeting, but if there's anything you want to discuss we can always stay here whilst your guardians attend."

"No, like you said, I need to see Ron and 'Mione." Harry smiled.

"Okay, well I promised Dora that I would attend the meeting so if you do need me I will only be downstairs."

Harry grinned, "Okay." He nodded, pulling on a hoodie as he and Torrey left the room, meeting up with the others in the living room.

"Okay kid?" Sirius smiled.

"Yup, Torrey's coming too."

"You are?" Severus asked with a raised eyebrow, obviously not having been expecting it and Harry frowned. Torrey simply nodded and muttered something about Dora.

"Right, well we're going to have to apparate again." Sirius told Harry who groaned but held onto the man's arm. A few seconds, and an uncomfortable feeling, later Harry was stood in an empty London street, he took the piece of paper Sirius handed him and quickly read the address on it before thinking it through as Sirius had told him to do. Just as Remus, Severus and Torrey apparated next to him he saw two of the houses on the street split apart and another one appeared in between, seemingly coming out of nowhere,

"Awesome." Harry breathed as they walked up the steps.

"Don't touch anything, I dunno how far they've got with the cleaning." Sirius murmured, gripping Harry's shoulder tightly.

"Harry dear!" Mrs Weasley beamed as they walked through, "The meeting's just about to start." She told the others, "I'll just show Harry where Ron and Hermione are." Sirius gave a half nod and squeezed Harry's shoulder again before moving down the corridor.

"You know where we are if you need anything." Remus said gently before following his husband, Harry watched as Severus and Torrey headed the same way.

"This way dear." Mrs Weasley smiled, leading Harry up the stairs. Harry looked around him curiously, it was fairly obvious that the house belonged to a dark family, the mass amount of snake carvings alone helped point that out, then there were the house elf heads on the wall, "We're in the process of trying to clean the house but it's taking a little longer than expected." Mrs Weasley explained when she saw Harry curl his lip up at the décor.

"It'd take a lot to make this place nice." Harry said making the woman chuckle,

"Now this is where Ron sleeps, I'm guessing they'll both be in here waiting for you." Mrs Weasley said, nodding to a door, "I better get down stairs." She added, pulling Harry into a sudden hug before releasing him and quickly going down stairs.

Harry moved towards the door she'd shown him and slowly opened it, laughing as he was attacked by a big bush or brown hair, "Harry!"

"Merlin 'Mione, let him breathe." Ron chuckled.

"Sorry." Hermione said, embarrassed, as she pulled away. "I missed you, we missed you." She said quietly.

Ron rolled his eyes, "Speak for yourself!" He said with a cheeky grin before giving Harry a one armed, side, hug, trying to keep it as manly as possible.

There was a loud crack and suddenly Fred and George were in the room, laughing loudly, "Ooh Ronnie, we had no idea you and Harry were so close!" They chuckled, having caught them pulling away from their hug.

"Shut it!"

"Want to hear what's going on downstairs Harry? Ron told you about the extendable ears right?" George, or maybe Fred, asked as they all left the room quietly.

"There's no point." Ginny chimed as she leapt up the stairs towards them, "They've charmed the door."

"How do you know?" Fred asked, sounding cross that his sister would know something he didn't.

Ginny grinned, "Oh hey Harry. I threw dung bombs at the door, they bounced off which means it's warded. Tonks showed me how." She said.

"Damnit!" Harry swore, "I want to know what's going on! Sirius and Remus won't tell me anything! And they'll only get mad if I try to push it…" He added with a pout.

"Have you actually tried asking? I bet if you were subtle enough then Sirius would slip up eventually." Ginny said, winking at Harry who frowned slightly before grinning back, she was right!

_**.~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~.**_


	19. Dementors

**_.~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~._**

**_Dementors._**

**_.~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~._**

"He said that Voldmort wanted some sort of weapon." Harry said, ignoring Ron's flinch, "That's when Remus stopped him talking."

Ron frowned, "What do you reckon it is? Something worse than the AK?"

"Has to be doesn't it? But what?" Harry frowned. It had been surprisingly easy to get Sirius to talk about the Order and what they were hiding, he hadn't liked lying to Harry in the first place so all it had taken was a little bit of pleading and stropping that he had the right to know. Remus had cut in just when Sirius was getting to the good part, the werewolf thought that Harry was too young, and going through too much, to know everything, plus they had promised Dumbledore that they wouldn't tell. Sirius had, grudgingly, agreed and so Harry was stuck with limited information that didn't make much sense. Harry stopped suddenly as the air got suddenly grew stiller, "Oh fuck." He breathed as the coldness hit him.

"Shit, dementors." Ron swore, recognizing the feeling from the train journey at the start of their third year.

"We have to get back to the house." Harry said, quickly turning and gasping as he saw the dementors for the first time, slowly gliding towards them. He quickly pulled his wand out and tried desperately to think of something happy, "Expecto patronum."

"_Bow to death."_

"_Stupid freak boy, you deserve this!"_

"_Kill the spare."_

"No! No." Harry gasped, "Expecto… Expecto. Happy memories Harry, come on." He looked back quickly, yelping as he noticed that Ron had tripped and was lying on the floor as a dementor towered over him, getting ever closer to his mouth, to his soul, "Expecto Pa-"

"_It's time you started earning your keep boy. Now get over here, I've got a nice little job planned for you…"_

"No!" Harry yelled, trying to push his Uncle's voice away, trying desperately to think of something happy. "Expe -"

"EXPECTO PATRONUM!" Out of nowhere ran a big silvery dog, pushing past Harry and charging at the dementors.

Severus rushed to Harry's side as Remus scared off the dementors, "Are you okay?"

"I… Yeah… Ron!"

"'m fine Harry." Ron mumbled as Remus helped him to his feet.

The werewolf glanced around worriedly, "Come on, let's get you inside." He said, wrapping an arm around Harry. As they approached the house Harry noticed Sirius stood there, staring into the blakness of the garden, "Siri?" Remus murmured, upon receiving no answer the man frowned, motioning to Severus to take Harry and Ron inside.

"What were they doing here?" Harry croaked as Severus led them into the kitchen, rummaging around in the cupboards for some chocolate.

"I don't know, I'll find out." Severus promised, "You're safe now." He added, handing the, each a bar of chocolate, "Eat it. How are you feeling? Both of you?"

"Alright." Ron mumbled, eating a small bit of chocolate, his hands shaking.

Harry stared at his friend, "I'm sorry."

"What?"

"I couldn't do it, the patronus, I couldn't do it."

Severus opened his mouth to tell Harry that it was understandable but Ron got there first, "After everything that happened at the end of last year mate… Well it's hardly surprisingly. Hell the fact that you were ever able to make one is amazing, I know I couldn't." He said, moving and putting his hand on Harry's arm.

"Ron's right Harry." Remus murmured, moving into the kitchen and putting the kettle on, Sirius followed him and pulled Harry into a tight hug. "Sev, go floo Albus, tell him what happened, also get Ron's mum."

Harry looked up, his eyes wide as he finally understood, "_He_ sent them didn't he?" The boy didn't need to say the name for them to know who he meant.

Severus ran his hand over his head, "We'll have to assume so, I don't see the Ministry doing it… He didn't mention it to me though… And he shouldn't know you're here."

"Are you in danger?" Harry gasped, his eyes impossibly wider as he leapt up.

"No, he thinks I'm living in my old house, Spinner's end. He thinks I donated this one to Albus… He'll believe me if I say I didn't know." Or at least Severus hoped that the Dark Lord would believe him, otherwise he was screwed, he turned to leave the room, pausing as Harry called after him, "I'm fine Harry, you're fine, we're all fine. They won't come back, not now." Severus soothed, "I'll just go and let Dumbledore know what happened, okay?" He waited until Harry had nodded before leaving the room.

"Are you okay?" Sirius asked Harry gently, running his hand through his godson's hair as Remus made them all mugs of hot chocolate.

"I think so." Harry mumbled, burrowing into Sirius' neck, Sirius looked up, towards Ron who was watching them almost jealously, giving a small smile the animagus held out his arm, motioning for the redhead to join them.

"Come on." He murmured, glad when Ron moved over, letting Sirius hold him too.

**_.~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~._**

"Move?" Sirius half yelled and Harry looked up from where he was sat in the corner. Molly had taken Ron home, proper home not Grimmauld Place, an hour or so ago and so Harry was stuck on his own, sat there pretending not to listen to the adults conversation. "I do believe it's for the best." Dumbledore said calmly from where he was stood with his back to Harry.

"To Grimmauld Place I assume?" Severus drawled.

"Indeed dear boy."

Sirius shook his head, "I'm not going back there. And Harry doesn't need to be around so many people right now, he needs space."

"I'm sure that Harry –"

"Please Professor, I like it here." Harry mumbled, interrupting the old man.

"I'm sure you do my boy, except it isn't safe." Dumbledore said, not even looking at Harry.

Sirius frowned, "Well we can make it safer." He snapped, taking a deep breath as Remus put his hand on his arm. "Harry needs his space right now."

"Of course, I understand he went through a lot at the end of last year but -"

"You know nothing." Sirius spat.

Harry wrapped his arms around his legs, breathing deeply, "Now Sirius…" Dumbledore started.

"My Uncle raped me!" Harry burst out, "He fucking raped me." He added angrily, standing up and storming out of the room, slamming the door so hard that a picture fell off the wall and smashed to the floor. Harry raced up the stairs and threw himself down on his bed, dragging his duvet over his head and curling up into a small ball, sobbing hard. He gave a yell as the duvet was pulled away,

"Sorry, didn't mean to startle you.." Severus murmured, sitting down on the bed and pulling Harry into his arms, "It's okay." He added gently.

"I could hear him… When the dementors were… I could hear him!"

Severus tightened his grip, "He can't hurt you now."

Harry's nails dug into Severus' arm, "I swore at Dumbledore." He mumbled, "Hermione's going to kill me!"

Severus snorted, "Albus has been headmaster for a long time, he's had more than his fair share of students swearing at him. I wouldn't worry about it Harry… And what Miss Granger doesn't know won't kill her." He added with a smile, stroking Harry's hair. Harry sniffed and wiped at his nose with his sleeve, "What do you want to do now?" Severus asked gently, trying not to show his disgust at the streak of snot across Harry's sleeve. "It's probably best if we stay upstairs." He added, thinking that Remus and Sirius needed to talk to Dumbledore properly, and Harry didn't need to hear everything they were saying. "I could help you with some of your summer work?" Severus offered, "Even if you're not certain about returning to school it's best to stay on top of work."

"If I don't go back what'll happen?" Harry asked quietly.

Severus sighed, "It's likely you will be tutored at home, Remus would be able to do a lot of it and Sirius was quite brilliant in many subjects if I remember correctly. You would probably be following roughly what they do at the school anyway." He explained, "So summer work?"

"Okay." Harry sniffed, "I'm gonna take a shower first though." He added, wiping at his eyes before vanishing into the bathroom. Severus stood up and moved towards Harry's desk, rummaging through the school books there before finding Harry's potions books, both the text book and the boy's notepad, he flicked through the notepad and re-read the summer assignment he had given the class, it was simple enough and managed to cover most of the work that they had done over the past year, and of course all the answers were in the textbook and their old potions notes if the students looked properly. Then again, Severus thought as he flicked through Harry's notes, if all of their notes were made up of as many doodles and scribbled conversations then they didn't have a hope in hell. "Do you ever do any actual work?" He asked Harry as the teenager walked back into the room, wearing only a pair of jeans.

"Yes!" Harry said defensively, pulling on a tee-shirt.

Severus nodded, realizing that Harry wasn't in the mood for teasing right now, "Do you need help with anything?" He asked gently.

"I… I think I'm fine thanks." Harry mumbled, taking his notebook off Severus and sitting down, rummaging around his desk to find some parchment and a quill. "You don't have to stay." The boy added quietly.

"I want to." Severus replied, not wanting to leave Harry alone right now, he quietly summoned a book and sat down on Harry's bed, watching as Harry dipped his quill into the ink and began to write.

An hour later Harry was still writing and Severus was half asleep, not really paying attention to the words he was reading, they were interrupted as the bedroom door opened and Remus walked in, "Hey kid, Professor Dumbledore said we can stay here for the rest of the summer, and past that, he's going to get Bill Weasley to put some protective wards up." He directed the last part at Severus who nodded. "Doing homework?" Remus asked lightly, balancing on the edge of Harry's desk and glancing at the parchment.

"Obviously." Harry snapped and Remus raised an eyebrow, glancing at Severus who gave a half shrug.

"Torrey's coming over." Remus told Harry calmly, "We thought after everything that happened today you might want to -"

"Well you were wrong! I don't want to talk to him, I don't want to talk to anyone!" Harry yelled, shoving his chair away from the desk and leaving the room, slamming the door loudly behind himself.

Remus sighed and moved over to the window, "What a day." He muttered, more to himself than to Severus.

Severus closed his book, "How's Sirius?" He asked quietly, moving over to join Remus by the window.

"He freaked out when he saw the dementors, that's why he was still by the house instead of helping us." Remus said, "And now he's beating himself up about it, feeling guilty." He added, rolling his eyes, "Only his guilt is becoming anger, at Dumbledore… At me…"

Severus frowned, "Did he hurt you?"

"He slapped me, a slap not a punch." Remus admitted, "It wasn't hard and he apologized instantly, crying… sobbing… I've put him to bed. He needs to rest, obviously the dementors affected him pretty badly even from a distance."

Severus nodded, "How is Albus?" He asked.

"He's devastated." Remus said softly, watching as Harry walked across the grassy lawn, towards the trees, before swinging up onto one of the branches and disappearing into the leaves. "Blames himself for leaving Harry there in the first place."

"Good." Severus spat.

Remus gave a sigh, "He wants Harry back at school in September, he says he can even floo home every weekend, that he can arrange for Harry to still see Torrey at school… Albus seems to think it's safer there and, after today, I think I agree."

"Harry's still not sure about returning." Severus said quietly.

"No, I know. Maybe Torrey can help him figure it out." Remus murmured, leaving the window and heading downstairs, Severus quickly turned out the light before following him.

_**.~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~.**_

"Where's Torrey?" Remus asked as Sirius walked into the living room.

"Oh, Harry finally agreed to come down from the tree so…" The animagus trailed off with a shrug, Harry had been sat up in the tree for the past few hours and had so far refused to talk to any of them. Torrey had told them to just leave him to it and that he would come down in his own time, then Torrey and Sirius had gone off somewhere quiet to have a chat. "Feeling better?" Remus asked his husband with a gentle smile, Sirius gave a sharp nod in reply.

Severus stood up, "Tea?" He offered, realizing that the two men needed some time to themselves, he left the room quietly.

"Siri…"

"I'm sorry I hit you, I can move to the spare room if you'd like." Sirius mumbled.

"No! Don't be ridiculous, it's been a long day… you lost your temper." Remus said, "It's okay Siri…"

Sirius shook his head slowly, "No it's not… I couldn't even save him from the dementors Rem, what sort of a godfather, a guardian, does that make me?"

"After everything you've been through it's perfectly understandable…" Remus soothed, "And you knew Sev and I were there, I'm sure if you'd have been alone you'd have managed to cut through your shock and help Harry."

Sirius gave a shrug and flopped down onto the sofa, "I dunno…" He muttered, "Can you… Can you help me with my patronus? Make sure I can do it?"

"Of course Love." Remus promised, "Although obviously it'll be different without a dementor." He wrapped his arm around Sirius, sighing internally as the man tensed and turned to look at him, tracing his finger along Remus' cheek bone, "I'm fine."

"I shouldn't have hit you." Sirius whispered.

Remus sighed again, "No, maybe not… But you're sorry for it… And you've been talking to Torrey, you're working on the temper thing… I love you Sirius, so much… Please don't get mad at yourself for this."

"You should just hit me back." Sirius muttered.

"And what good would that do?" Severus said sternly as he walked back in. Sirius looked at him guiltily, remembering that Severus had threatened to kick him out if he hurt Remus again. "You're making progress with Torrey and that's what's important." Severus added, smiling at Sirius as he handed him a mug of tea.

"Thanks." Sirius mumbled, accepting the mug and rubbing his hand over his face. "How was Harry when you spoke to him?"

"I think he was surprised that it came out like that, but at the same time slightly glad that at least Dumbledore knows now." Severus replied.

They looked up as Torrey walked in, "Harry's going to sleep for a while. He doesn't want to talk and forcing him will only upset him." The man said quietly. "I'm going to go and see Dumbledore, I need to know how he will help Harry if Harry does coose to return to school." He added quietly.

Remus nodded, "Thank you for coming." He smiled.

"Of course I came." Torrey said, sounding irritated as he walked to the fire and flooed away.

Sirius sighed, "Torrey's been acting stranger and stranger lately… Which is just what Harry needs." He muttered sarcastically.

"He cares about Harry." Severus said gently, "That's what's important."


	20. Dreaming

This chapter is for _theoriginalolive_ for threatening me with the killing curse, normally I'd say I don't respond to violence but... Apparently I do.

* * *

**.~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~.**

**Dreaming.**

**.~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~.**

Sirius chewed on a potato, picking up his glass as he swallowed it, Merlin it was quiet, Remus was off doing something for Dumbledore and Severus was out… again. "I… I think I might try school." Harry mumbled, "'Cause Torrey said that Professor Dumbledore said that I can floo back here every night if I want. If that's okay with you?"

Sirius smiled, "Always." He promised.

"I… I'd just feel safer if I was sleeping here." Harry gave a half shrug.

Sirius wondered why that was but he didn't ask, instead just nodding and putting his hand on Harry's shoulder, "Well that's fine with us."

"I don't know what to tell people though. Nev and the other guys will know I'm not there…"

"Well you can tell them that I want you around if that'll help." Sirius offered, "Catch up on lost time and all that."

Harry frowned slightly, "Really?"

"Sure. I do want you around after all!" Sirius grinned.

"Thanks Siri." Harry smiled, moving hugging his godfather tightly before returning to his seat, picking at his food.

Sirius smiled, "What do you want to do this evening then? We can watch a movie or something, Remus should be back soon."

"Sure, movie sounds good… Where's Severus?" Harry asked, licking gravy off his fork.

Sirius gave a small shrug, "He umm… Went out with some friends." He said, deciding it was better to say that than the truth that Severus was on the pull, again.

Harry nodded, "Oh. That married guy again?"

Sirius choked, "How do you know about that?"

"I umm… Heard him talking to Remus." Harry said, not knowing if the men had told Sirius about their quick kiss, and not wanting to be the one to break the news if they hadn't.

"You shouldn't eavesdrop." Sirius berated as he cleared the table.

"Sorry." Harry mumbled, trying to sound like he meant it but judging from Sirius' exasperated expression he failed.

_**.~*~*~*~*~*~*~.**_

Remus swallowed the pain relief, tossing the vial into the garbage tin, watching as it vanished, he jumped as he heard the kitchen door open and turned to see Harry stood there. "Oh, what are you doing up?" Remus asked in surprise, "Thought you were asleep."

"I had a dream." Harry whispered, the words slightly choked.

"A nightmare?" Remus asked, thinking it was probably about Vernon and immediately trying to think of what to say to comfort the boy, he was surprised when Harry shook his head.

"Umm… No." Harry whispered, his cheeks slowly turning a soft pink as he blushed, "Not really."

Remus frowned, wondering what could have made Harry look so confused, then he glanced at the boy again, taking in the flushed cheeks and ducked head and it made sense, "Oh." He murmured, "Oh right…" Harry flushed even more, wringing his hands together, "That's… Well that's pretty normal at your age." Remus said awkwardly, trying to make Harry feel a bit more comfortable.

Harry gave a small shrug, "It… It was about a guy." He whispered.

"Oh." Remus blinked, so Harry liked men… "That's… There's nothing wrong with that." Then he looked at Harrys face again, seeing the haunted look in the boys eyes. "Did it… Bring back memories?" He murmured, Harry shrugged slightly and said nothing but gave a small sniff, "That must have been really difficult for you."

"I'm never going to be normal am I? I'm never going to get over it."

Remus sighed, "It -"

"I'm never going to be able to go on dates… To kiss a boy, to have sex…" Harry interrupted, "I don't think I'm ever going to trust a man."

"You will eventually, I'm sure." Remus murmured. "Come on I'll make you a mug of tea and we can talk properly in the living room yeah?" He offered, "It's warmer in there."

Harry shrugged, "Whatever." He mumbled, chewing on his lip as Remus summoned everything he needed to make tea. Five minutes later they were sat in the living room, Harry curled up in the armchair in front of the fire. "I think it'd be easier if I liked girls." Harry muttered, scowling at his tea.

"How so?" Remus frowned.

"Because…" Harry shrugged, not able to voice how he was feeling, it was a man who'd done this to him and he didn't think he'd ever be able to get over that fact, trusting a woman with sex seemed a lot safer right now… Only he'd never been sexually attracted to a woman.

Remus sighed, "You will be okay Harry." He murmured.

"Yeah, sure." Harry muttered, "I'm going back to bed."

"Are you sure?"

Harry pulled a face, "May as well. Can Torrey come by tomorrow?"

"Of course." Remus murmured, glad that Harry trusted the man but unable to help the shot of hurt that Harry couldn't talk to him about everything he was going through, "Goodnight Harry."

"Night Remus."

_**.~*~*~*~*~*~*~.**_

"Maybe I should go and wake Harry." Sirius frowned.

"He was up in the night." Remus said quietly, "So leave him for a bit."

Sirius sighed, "More nightmares."

"Uh… No, the opposite." Remus murmured. "You know the good kind of dream…"

Sirius frowned before he realized what Remus meant, "Oh."

"About a boy."

"Ah… That must have been… Well I guess it bought up… Stuff."

Remus nodded, "Yeah, he wanted to talk to Torrey today so we should probably call him now and see when he's free."

"I'll do that in a minute." Sirius murmured, "I was thinking… When Harry goes back to school, after he's settled in, we could go out somewhere for the day? Just us?"

Remus felt a grin spread across his face, "I'd like that, got any ideas?"

"A few…" Sirius teased, "But honestly I'm okay with whatever you want to do."

Remus rolled his eyes, Sirius never liked making decisions, "Maybe just a quiet day, a walk on the beach, picnic?"

"Sounds perfect." Sirius smiled, "Although James would call me an old man." He added with a laugh.

Remus snorted, "Well tough, I think my days of clubbing are over."

"Like they ever started!" Sirius chuckled.

"I… Yeah okay it was never really my kind of thing." Remus admitted. "Do you miss it? Going out partying."

Sirius frowned, looking away, "I… I think so but… It wouldn't be the same now, I'm too old." Sirius gave a low chuckle, "And… Well James wouldn't be there." He added quietly. Remus took his hand, not sure what to say, he wanted to comfort Sirius but felt that talking about James was dangerous territory, "Anyway… I like spending quiet time with you." Sirius said. "I should call Torrey."

"Don't." Harry said quietly from the doorway, "I'm fine, I don't want to talk to him right now, he's coming over in a few days anyway."

"Are you sure?" Sirius frowned, wondering why Harry had changed his mind.

Harry rolled his eyes, "Yes, and no I don't want to talk to you about anything either."

Remus sighed as a flash of pain shot across Sirius' face, "Okay." Sirius whispered quietly, "Well do you want lunch or…"

"Not hungry, I'm gonna go outside and fly." Harry muttered, walking from the room before either man could argue with him.

**_.~*~*~*~*~*~*~._**

"What's wrong with Harry?" Severus asked that evening, shoving some crisps into his mouth. "He seems really grumpy, more so than usual." He added with his mouth full, ignoring Remus' disgusted expression.

"Just teenage stuff." Remus replied, getting the feeling that Harry wouldn't want Severus to know about his dream. Severus rolled his eyes, bloody teenage emotions, as if he didn't have to deal with them enough during term time. "He'll be fine, at least I hope so, Torrey's coming over on Tuesday and it'll be time for school again soon…"

"He's definitely going back?"

"He says so. I mean he'll floo home every night but… I think it'll be good for him, a bit of normality."

Severus nodded, "Definitely." He said, wiping at his mouth and pulling the bottle of pumpkin juice out of the fridge, swigging from it.

"Use a cup!" Remus said crossly as Sirius walked in.

"Oh hey Sev. Harry was looking for you, wanted someone to play chess with, I suck too bad apparently."

Remus laughed, "He spends way too much time with Ron."

Severus gave a small smile, "I'll go play." He said quietly.

"Umm…" Sirius stopped him, "Harry said something the other day, about your married man."

Severus choked, "What?" The only time he'd mentioned him to Harry was after... after he and Remus had kissed, surely Harry hadn't…

"Apparently he heard you and Remus talking. But anyway I… I just… I don't want to sound like a dick but it's not something I want Harry to be hearing about…" Sirius said quietly, he wanted Harry to see sex as something between two people in love, thought it was better for him when the whole subject was still difficult.

Severus flushed darkly, "Fine." He said tightly, "It won't be discussed when Harry is in the house."

"Sev…" Sirius sighed, feeling like a dreadful friend.

"No, it makes sense." Severus added, leaving the room, he went straight up to Harry's room, smiling at the boy who was lying on his bed, "Someone said chess?"

Harry sat up, "Uh yeah… If you want."

"Sounds good to me." Severus said softly, they set up the chess set and sat down, playing quietly for a while, "You scared?"

"Of you beating me in chess?" Harry snorted.

Severus laughed, "I meant of going back to school."

"No, not really. I mean… People are saying stuff about me which'll suck but… I think I'll be okay… Being with Sirius kind off grounds me, he knows how to calm me, which is why I wanna come back at night. But I get that what happened to me it was.. It was Vernon, and he's been put away now so he can't find me… Plus he's a Muggle so he'd never make it into Hogwarts." Harry added, a soft laugh trying to cover his worried look.

"No he can't." Severus agreed.

"Severus?" Harry asked quietly.

Severus looked up, the boy sounded serious and he frowned, wondering what Harry needed to talk about now, "Yeah?"

"Checkmate."

**_.~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~._**

* * *

**_If you're still reading after all these months then thank you so much. Please review and let me know what you think, what you liked best/worst, what I should change because it's not working. Your opinion as a reader is always valued._**

**_Next chapter should, if it goes according to plan, contain returning to school, a student with a crush on Severus, more struggles with Harry's sexuality and Remus and Sirius' date._**

_**SexySiri.**_

_**xx**_


End file.
